I have been revamping my website over the past few day, as many of you now know, and it has been a job. I suddenly find myself up to my eye balls in things regarding promoting my books and it is work. I swear when I started writing if I had known then what I know now I might have taken a different path.
First let me say I’m not a salesperson. I couldn’t sell a fridge to an Artic dweller with their house melting down around them. Think about it a moment and it’ll come to you. Seriously I just don’t have what it takes to be a good sales person. For one thing I’m totally honest. Really. Here’s an example.
I had someone comment on one of my stories on my website about how the story would make a great lead in for a book and I had to tell her that she might be surprised with what it ultimately lead to and she could find out in the third book of my series Blood Lines but to get the full impact from the character’s perspective she should read the whole series in order. Now I could have just let it go with telling her to read Blood Lines Family Ties and had a fairly good chance of selling her on it, yes the story will stand on its own, but I couldn’t in good conscious do that and to me that just made me sound like an ass trying to sell my books and nothing else. Like I said not a sales person. See my problem here?
So how do I turn myself into a salesperson? I’m open to suggestions. It might help if I weren’t a crazy old lady who has a weird sense of humor that also leans toward the dry side. I also am quite good at reading people and it does affect how I interact with them.
Here’s a big one however. Now if you have read my blogs the one thing you wouldn’t expect from me is that in person I’m a bit reserved. I can’t help it I just am. I use the term ‘a bit’ liberally because the fact is I’m a lot reserved. I don’t do crowds real well for darn sure. I get in the middle of a bunch of people and I start looking for the nearest exit. I start feeling trapped, the inner thermometer starts rising, and it gets hard to breath. I have to have air. I do better in groups outside than in. Go figure. I’m sure that all you psych people will have all kinds of terms for what ails me but I have one in the family and she has already decided there isn’t a pigeon hole I fit in. I’m evidently so far off the scales that I can’t be classified but she’s says I’m not dangerous to myself or others so she can see no reason to have me committed. Believe me she is looking for one. Hey she’s my daughter. Every daughter has at one time or the other thought about doing that to their mothers. We drive you ladies crazy and we know it we just don’t give a rat’s ass. Our mothers did to us and we have earned the right to do it to you.
Back to the promotional thing. I’m open to suggestions if anyone out there has any good ones but please be original. I’ve heard the tried and true so let’s think outside the box. Remember I am older than dirt so no tight rope walking, extreme rock climbing and hell I have trouble getting up the stairs sometimes, and nothing that would require me to jump off or out of something. I could have jumped out of or off of anything when I was young. I have a fear of falling and you open a door and shove me out and that’s all she wrote. That cord would never get pulled and the last thing you would see is me going splat on the ground below. I pass out the minute a roller coaster or log ride tips over the top and starts to fall. You do that a couple of times and the people managing the rides ask you not to come back. So outside the box, but hey guys, keep it real.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?