What, That's Not Proof I'm Married?

Last night I posted that I haven't had the urge to go out and kill, maim, and destroy since I started writing.  Will that has quickly changed this morning.

Insurance companies.  Need I say more?  Well I'm going to.

My husband was asked to present proof of our marriage by the our insurance company.  OK, not a problem.  Sent them a copy of our marriage license.  Not good enough.  OK it was the one we signed at the wedding and they needed a legal copy.  Hell we couldn't find the damn thing so we made a point of taking a trip to the fair little town in which we applied for said license and picked up two.  Sent them a copy.  This is what they asked for.  Everything good right?  Wrong.

My adorable husband calls me bright and early this morning to ask me to send him a copy of our 2014 tax return.  Why I ask.  Well it would appear that a certified copy of a marriage license isn't proof of marriage.  What the F?  Are you kidding me.

I spent a great deal of time and effort getting this poor goober before a recognized legal authorized individual to perform earlier mentioned ceremony and getting that piece of paper just so I could proudly claim to be his blushing bride and wife and now you're telling me telling me it doesn't mean squat.  Are you for real?  I mean we spent months arguing over how we were even going to do the damn thing.  No I wasn't the one who wanted the pomp and circumstance, he was.  You know church, minister, and people.  I wanted to sneak away in the shadow of night and do it quickly and quietly.  We compromised.  Well I should say I compromised. A lot.  He got everything he wanted but the church.  I did hold my ground on that one.  We were married in one of the most beautiful places in the world.  A farm.  Hey don't go there.  This farm happens to raise flowers.  Lots of them.  Married at the peak of the blooming season for the things.  You would've had to be Bill Gates to have afforded the amount of flowers I had at my wedding.  Hehe.

Anyway I digress.  Insurance company, now I'm not about to go out and start world war III with this place but I swear if they give Buddy and me any more crap about the validity of our marital status I'm not sure what my reactions might be.  Like I said I put a lot of effort into reeling in my catch and I'll be damned if I let some insurance company null and void that effort.