What Must I Do To Sell Books – Get Arrested

Seriously I’ve thought about it.  The problem there is that I would have to do something that would draw national attention as well as sympathetic support from a majority of the people.  That’s a hard one right now.  I have an idea that could be fairly promising but it would leave me venerable to getting maimed or killed in a stampede.  Even the most noble of causes will have its naysayers.  I don’t heal as quickly as I use to so getting myself crippled would only serve to make it harder to write anything especially if someone decided to trample on my two little delicate hands.  Now that would suck.  Besides protesting anything these days seems to make people mad no matter what it is.
Someone suggested I run down the freeway in my birthday suite but I see trouble written all over that one.  Who in their right mind wants to see someone my age naked?  I certainly don’t.  Now if I were in my twenties maybe but even then I have a problem with that one.  Last thing I need is for someone to run over my naked ass.  Or clothed either for that matter.
I could try jumping out of a plane but even though I’m pretty old I’m not old enough to make it cute and besides I have a fear of falling and I pass out on roller-coasters and log rides so me jumping out of a plane could cause a problem when it came time to pull the cord to open the shoot.  All the publicity in the world isn’t going to do me any good if I’m dead.
Someone even suggested I start a cult and although that can be applied to almost any type of movement it is a word associated with dark and evil things so that one is out.  Besides I’m way too old and cute to make that believable.
“Hey you in the back, shut up, I am old and cute and you better damn well agree with that.”
Anyway here I sit and I can’t even think of a way to get arrested that just wouldn’t totally suck.  Also my brother George would probably have something to say on that one since he is a retired police chief.  Hey I’m more afraid of what he would have to say on the subject that I am of a hundred armed police standing over me.  Alright so I still want his approval.  Tell me who among you doesn’t want their big brother or big sister’s approval.
I’m just going to have to keep thinking on this one and if any of you have any suggestions that doesn’t involve blood, bruising, death, particularly to myself, then I’m all ears.

This one is free at Smashwords in eBook.
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/745251