Updates, Updates, Updates

It’s update your phone, update your computer, hell it’s update your ass through a butt lift these days.  I’m not talking buying new but having to allow some computer somewhere in some far away land, except for your butt; at least I hope you don’t outsource that, to go into your already bought and paid for possessions and rearrange their innards.  In the meantime you are locked out of your bought and paid for possession while whoever or whatever in some faraway place makes happy with it.  It’s bad enough if it’s your computer but when it’s your phone you are cut completely off from the rest of the world unless you make actual physical contact with others of the human race.  If you are one of those people who have locked yourself inside and never go out and your only contact with the outside world is through some electronic device then you are totally screwed.
Once they finish upgrading your equipment the fun part begins.  You now have to sort through all the changes to see what you do and do not recognize and then proceed to try and figure out which ones you will now have to learn all the new bumps and curves they have added to whatever object they just played around with.  You pray you don’t end up throwing the damn thing as for as you possibly can and taking great pleasure in watching it shatter into a million pieces.  Then it hits you.  You now have to go out and buy a replacement for the plastic and tiny welded pieces of metal you just destroyed.  It takes a little longer for the fact that you just lost all your saved information, files, pictures, videos, and whatever other parts of your life were stored on that POS.  This isn’t the end of the nightmare either.
Here’s where if you are most people, unlike the anchors on CBS This Morning talking about the new IPhone and made it sound like it would be no big deal for people to pay a $1000.00 for the darn thing, you go into price shock.  Unlike the anchors for that news cast who make a high six for seven figure salary for me and most of my family that represents a fairly large outgoing amount of cash and it may well mean something else has to be cut from your budget.  I guess I don’t need that blood pressure medicine so that could go in order for me to be able to hold in my hand what to me sounds like a whole lot of crap that’s not needed while they continue to jack the price up.  Oh you can get a cheaper version but they never mentioned the price on that one I don’t believe but I doubt if it comes cheap either.
Oh well we evidently all have to go through it or countless catastrophic system failures will occur resulting in total chaos in your life and maybe even the world.  The governments of the world will lose contact with all the satellites rotating around our planet, the satellites will turn outward toward some super mega starship that will pick of the signal alerting them to our existence and they will take a turn at some very far away planet heading here at warp 999 and blow us out of existence.  All because you had to ignore the notice to update.
One more thing, I’m an idiot but I will not elaborate on that one.  LMAO.