We won’t go into how long ago it was that you gave birth to me, but it’s been awhile. You got the girl you wanted, well maybe you did.
What do you do with a girl who is a cross between a total boyish tom girl and total girl, a mix of Peter Pan and Cinderella? I was a combination of a female Neanderthal beating rocks against a tree and a star gazing dreamer who looked forward instead of back. It couldn’t have been easy to raise me. Somehow though, you did.
Were you perfect? No. You did the best you could with what you had to work with I do believe. No, I didn’t end up on drugs, or become an alcoholic, but I was headstrong and argumentative. Understand something here, I got that from you. If I turned out to be a strong and determined woman, it’s because I had you to show me how.
I wonder what you would think of me today. Yes, I’ve changed, but the strength and determination are still there. I’ve just mellowed a little with age. Emphasis on little here. I’m still often outspoken, headstrong, and at times a pain in the butt. Again, I got a lot of that from you.
I miss you Mom. Even after fourteen years I find myself wanting to pick up the phone and call you to let you know about things. I still want to hear your voice. I still need you to tell me everything is going to be OK. Most of all, I would give almost anything to hear you say you love me.
I remember the last time you said it. It was the last time you said anything. Then you closed your eyes and slept until you were ready to leave. You know, it took me weeks to finally break down and cry, but when I did…
Something I don’t think I ever told you Mom, and I so regret that, was that you were an amazing woman. Again, not perfect, none of us are, but you managed to raise your kids without us getting in too much trouble. LOL. Four boys and a girl, and none of us with a rap sheet. Now lady, that’s something to be proud of.
Mom you need to know that you haven’t been forgotten. We still think of you. We miss you, but most of all, you are still loved. I pray that God keeps you close, otherwise Heaven might look at lot different than it used to, and I hope you have forgiven me for that little stunt I pulled after you died. That shall remain between us.
Oh, just so you know, Gina and I did try hard to keep you well-coiffed and looking nice. A thank you would be appreciated.
I love you Mom and Happy Birthday.