The Great War Of July 2018

I was visiting my daughter recently and while I was there her and her boyfriend, I use the term boyfriend with reservations because their relationship is more than that, decided to get out for a bit and enjoy some alone time.  This isn’t something they get to do a lot because along with this young man came this lovely little girl that I consider to be my granddaughter and will fight anyone who claims she isn’t.  Between their jobs and this awesome little darling alone time is hard to come by.
When the two came home a little later, they honesty weren’t gone long, they both had these sheepish grins on their faces.  I know these two and this could only mean they were either up to something or they had done a little shopping and were feeling rather impish.  This never bodes well with these two.  Gina and Jud both are big kids at heart so I knew I couldn’t let this pass.
I immediately asked what had they done or bought.  The response I got was not what I was expecting.
“We bought assault rifles.”  Jud responded with that same smile.
“You bought what?”  Now I don’t have problems with people owning guns, I’ve owned a few myself, but I do sort of cringe at that particular type.  I know that this is a touchy topic right now but I’m on the side of ‘what the hell do you need those for.’  Anyone who doesn’t agree with me too bad, I’m not changing my mind on this.
“We bought two assault rifles.”  Jud repeats.  Gina is standing in the background her smile growing bigger and bigger as this conversation plays out.
“Let me guess, you bought Gina a pink one.”  There is a running joke between Jud and me regarding Gina and the color pink.  She hates pink and Jud is always teasing her about buying her things pink including guns and fishing gear.
“No, they’re both yellow and black.”  Jud informs me.
At this point they produce a couple of shopping bags from a major sporting goods store and pull out the two deadly weapons.  There they were, bright yellow and black encased in cardboard cartons.  Two brightly colored a-salt rifles.  What in the hell?
My daughter and her adorable other half recently bought a house in the country.  This lovely little abode is located only a couple of miles from the mighty Mississippi and surrounded by a lot of wooded land.  It is a beautiful place with a fabulous scenic view that is relaxing and calm for the most part.  The problem?  Bugs, lot and lots of bugs.  These two adorable young people have decided to declare war on bugs.  Please understand not all bugs, just certain ones.  They have tried sprays, plants, swatters but the invaders keep coming.  Horse flies, house flies, mosquitoes, certain beetles, wasp, and other such pests that make sitting on the front porch a little uncomfortable at times so they made up their minds to take this war to another level.
Later I sat and watched these two go commando in an all-out combat approach against their enemy.  During the attack many bugs fell and one human was injured and almost drowned, me.  Don’t ask.
One little footnote to this story.  I can say with absolute certainty that the lizards in the area were more than happy with the seasoned smorgasbord they were met with the next morning.
One other little footnote.  The faces of the combatants have been blurred out to protect the innocent, ME.