If you have followed my blogs you have heard me lament over that damn thing you wear on your wrist to tell you how many steps you take in a day and sets a goal for you to reach. For those of you who have become a slave to the damn thing understand what it feels like to have that hanging over your head every day. You have been hammered with the rhetoric that if you don't adhere to the goals you're going to fall over of a heart attack and many other medical evils. OK maybe you will.
Here's the thing. Why the hell do you wear something on your wrist to measure your steps? Do the makers of these damn things think we honestly walk on our hands? Come on people get real.
Think about it a minute. Have you ever noticed that when you go to a store and push a cart you will get very little to register on your damn exercise Nazi. If you haven't, check it the next time you go. Now I don't know about you but I personally want credit for every step I take. I have no intention of walking a couple of thousand steps and not get credit for them. I need all I can get every day.
I figured out a way to beat this however. I've started to wear mine on my ankle. Yes on my ankle. You would be surprised how much my numbers have gone up since I started doing that. of course this raises another problem.
Most people don't have a clue what a real police monitoring ankle bracelet looks like. Now I'm wearing this ugly little black thing around my ankle and you can imagine what that must look like. I have to go through all kinds of steps to make sure that it can't be seen. Don't put it under a sock either because that restricts the damn thing from registering your moves. No I don't have any idea why but it does. Evidently the damn thing relies more on the damn thing jiggling around than it does to anything being registered in your body as a whole. That takes me back to my earlier question, do those damn dumb asses think we walk around on our hands. Oh that's the time and not my steps. I'm so ashamed this morning but I have my reasons.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?