Last night feel asleep early, I do mean early. My husband and I had a rather rough day with a sick daughter and two grandkids that needed babysitting.
Now this is just a little sample of what the past few days have been like. Yes, they have been a bit hectic. While writing this just got a text from the sick daughter and I have a feeling that things may take another turn for the hectic once again.
Another text so yep, another turn.
Anyway, I hope I can continue this now.
I had literally passed out on the couch, no drinking involved, just tired as hell.
Now imagine you are in this deep sleep from pure exhaustion and suddenly you are awakened by the most gosh awful crash, rumble, thud that ends with the house shaking and your husband going oomph and you open your eyes to your hubby trying to crawl his way back up to his feet, no, there was no drinking there either.
“What the crap just happened?” I didn’t ask if he was OK, my bad, I just wanted to know how my usually very coordinated hubby nearly brought the house down.
“Nothing, go back to sleep.” He responded.
“Go back to sleep: after you nearly shook the house off it’s foundation.” I couldn’t imagine him thinking me sleeping after that was possible.
“The house didn’t shake, OK, maybe it did. Thanks for letting me know that I’m fat and my large ass nearly brought the house down.” My shock at this alone would have kept me up the rest of the night if it weren’t for the fact that he was suffering from humiliation from his close encounter with the floor.
“You’re certainly not fat and your ass still looks great so how about telling me how it happened?” OK, I admit my sympathy wasn’t very high at this point, but remember, I had just been awaked by my couch jumping across the floor.
“I tripped, OK. I was putting on my shoes and somehow managed to get tripped up by them.” You could tell he wasn’t happy.
Now there might have been another reason why I wasn’t particularly sympathetic to his misadventure. A few months ago I was going through the house and I managed to trip over something of his he had left on the floor, no I don’t remember what it was, and I not only tripped but went flying across a room and landed head first onto the top of my desk. I’m quite certain the house shook then as well but at the moment that happened, I didn’t give a crap. Also, we had a couple of quest at the time and they were standing next to my desk looking at something and it was a small wonder I didn’t take them out like a couple of bowling pins. So, sympathy be damn you ass, that was payback for what happened to me because of you, so suck it up.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?