We go through life sticking our foots in our mouths. I mean we could start out with the ones women often make like where did you get that dress and how much did you pay for that sweater. Most of us know that asking the what someone paid for something is rude but a lot don’t know that asking where they got that item is just as wrong.
How old are you is another one that both women and men tend to do with women. Nothing makes me madder than for someone to ask me that. Now if I’ve got myself together and looking good, well as good as a woman my age can look I guess, I get a bit of a kick telling them because it is usually followed with a look of surprise because they don’t believe me. They tend to end up sputtering and looking like idiots so there is a reward in that.
Are you pregnant? Now that one is a bomb waiting to go off in your face with chances of serious bodily harm to you if the woman isn’t. Another good one is asking a woman if that is her grandchild. Women are having children a little later in life these days so that whole ‘is this your grandchild’ can really get you hurt. You’ve not only insulted this woman ability to procreate but along with that you have insulted her age, her appearance, and the worst of all you have brought into question the most highly prized title that most women care more about than any other, Momma. Now that one very well could get you killed.
Now most of these are directed at women but it can be just as bad asking certain things of men. I’ve actually heard women ask what size shoe do you wear or can I see your hand. Really ladies. You can’t just look down and get an idea. How far you look is up to you but you get what I’m talking about. Guys if you’re not being asked either of those questions there’s only one of two reason for it. Either something on you is a dead giveaway or something else about you just turns ladies off. Figure out which it is and try to fix it if you can. There are others I’m sure but since I’m not a guy it wouldn’t be fair for me to try and go beyond that. Actually I think with men it may be more of making certain statements to them. No is a good one when it comes to certain men. They really hate that. It doesn’t matter what it relates to they just hate that word. “Honey can you hand me another beer?” “No. Get up and get it yourself.”
Now what brought up this little rant? Well, I was watching something on TV regarding a gentleman in a wheelchair. This lady was going out on a blind date with this gentleman and was told to wear flats by someone. What went through my head was ask the guy how tall he is and go from there. My thinking was that if he was of a taller stature then the type of shoes the lady wore should be governed by what the man’s actual height was if he could stand and then it dawned on me that there would be no way you could possibly ask that question without sounding like an asshole.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?