This week I got a new phone as most of you already know if you read my blog. Also as most of you know this is a traumatic and mind numbing experience to say the least. We might spend several years with that little piece of equipment stuck to our ear or at least glued to our hand. Hell much more and the damn thing could be considered an actual extension of our body. Another words we become attached to that damn thing because it has becomes a part of us. So as much as we may want that new phone we hate letting go of the old one.
Then you have the whole set up process that goes with that new phone. I have to admit that I'm not a real tech savvy individual but I'm not stupid either. I'm somewhere in between technically challenged and technically ignorant. Another words I'm capable of turning the damn thing on and then I scream help. With this new one I have to admit even turning the damn thing on proved to be it's own new test of my capabilities. My God it asked for my fingerprint. Come on people is that really doing you a lot of good. Yes it sounds good on the front end but unless you're trying to keep your husband or wife out of your crap do you really think that a thief is going to worry about whether or not they can access your info when they steel the damn thing? No. So like I said unless you're doing something that you don't want your husband or wife knowing about what's the point.
Anyway got the phone, got it turned on, and with a little help of a tech savvy young man at my provider I was up and running in about eight hours. Hey the 'hook up' with the old and the new took a while. Like I said in an earlier blog, he might be old but his staying power was phenomenal. OK the old thing was slower than Christmas.
So what's this have to do with the asshole? Well here I am with my nice new phone all shiny and pretty and I have to have a new case to protect the little darling. So off my husband and I go to the mall, something I hate as much as I hate going to the dentist facing a root canal, to buy a new case at one of those kiosks for my phone. Of course we found one.
This is where the asshole comes in. Walk up to the kiosk and the man drops what he's doing to offer his services. He addresses my husband. Not a problem my husband directs him to me. "What kind of cover are you looking for little lady?" Little Lady, are you kidding me? I'm an old lady and that nut head addressing me as Little Lady at my age set my nerves on edge. He then ask me for my phone which I reluctantly hand over to him. "What color are you looking for?" What? What color am I looking for? Shouldn't we first consider what kind I want? So I respond with I'm looking for a black Otter Box.
Great this should be over in a matter of minutes and I'll be out of the hell that most people call a mall and on my way to dinner. Nooooo. He turns around and pulls one of those cheap little crap pieces down with this horrendous yellow and pink zig-zag pattern down and puts my phone in it and hands it back to me. "I think you will like this more." Are you f'n kidding me? What part of black Otter Box did you not understand? Now mind you at this point he starts ignoring me and addressing my husband, thinking it would appear, that the man would bring me in line with his way of thinking. Now my husband who is trying to be a diplomat while trying to keep me from getting upset and doing serious bodily harm to this moron, you would have had to be there to understand how far this had gotten at this point, tells the guy again that it's my phone. I tell him again a black Otter Box. "Why do you want a black one?" Are you out of your mind you idiot? What the hell does it matter why I want a black one? I told you I wanted a black one and that's all there is too it. I should have said my profession is killing people and I don't want it to be seen should I have to take a call while trying to sneak up on my intended victim and bash their brains out, which he is in serious danger of me carrying out on him now. Instead I simply said because that's what I like. At this point you would imagine that he would simply hand over the one I asked for but no. He again turns to my husband and tries to sell him a load of crap ignoring me. Buddy tell the guy that it's my phone and get me the black Otter Box. Finally he pulls one out that is black with orange trim. I want solid black I inform this poor excuse of human being and I'm seriously starting to think of ways to knock the sob off. Now here is the kicker. "Well with the black one when you put it on the kitchen counter it's harder for you to see so you want the bright color." Oh no he didn't? Oh hell no he f'n didn't? Yes he did. Seriously? Do I look like the nice little grandmotherly type who's only claim to fame is standing over a hot stove waiting on others like some slave? Excuse me I now say to this asshole who had no business out in public dealing with women.
It was at this point he is called away by another customer and leaves my husband and me alone. Cathy do you want to go someplace else? Yes. I wouldn't have taken a free glass of water from this s*^t head in the middle of the desert at this point because I was so mad.
We walked away to another kiosk a little further down from the asshole and his. We found the new one and there purchased a case from a very nice young man who understood what I wanted and got it for me. He pulled out the black Otter Box as well as another one along the same line as Otter Box and gave me the low down on both and I choose the one I wanted. No it wasn't the Otter but evidently this guy understood what kind of woman I was. He pulled out a Ballistic in black and I left his little kiosk combat ready. Now to hunt down that asshole.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?