We all have those moments in life that we wish we never experienced. You know you hear something you shouldn’t, an instant in time when someone breaks your heart for some reason, or those that just leave you speechless. Of course there are those moments when you see something you can never unsee. Recently I not only had one of those moments but this one will forever remain in the top ten things I can never unsee.
I’m sure we’ve all have at least one time in our life seen someone taking a bathroom break in a public place but as for me, anytime I’ve been subjected to this I’ve been fortunate enough to get the back view all but once. As we know men don't drop their drawers to do this. I guess even the drunkest individual has some bit of decorum about taking a squat in public. The one full frontal was appropriately expurgated by some very conveniently placed bushes thank God.
This last one was totally out of the blue and unusual. This one left me with my mouth open and my eyes bulging out of my head while my husband busted out laughing at the show we were exposed to.
Buddy and I were heading to one of our favorite places to eat and to keep out of the bumper to bumper traffic that usually fills the parking lot of the shopping center where the restaurant is located we went around the back way of the building of this shopping center. Yes you have all the dumpsters and what have you that goes with the backside view of a shopping center but this one is in an upscale area so even these back ways are tastefully done and always neat, tidy, and very well kept. Rarely do you ever even see a truck, person, or wayward box sitting around out there. A beautiful backdrop of a tree lined border and nice wooden fences almost makes it scenic. Another words not a bad little detour to get around all the congestion of the overloaded parking areas of the front.
On this day there was something different. As we came around to the long stretch of this little bypass we discovered an SUV pulled up to one of the dumpsters. We saw a woman standing in front of it but even though this was a little odd we didn’t think anything of it until we got up even with the dumpster. There was a man who had been out of our line of sight as we first came around the corner where this thing was but when we got closer we got a real good view of this guy, maybe I should say we got a real good view of his ass. There he was hanging over in that dumpster with his pants down to his knees. When I say his pants I’m talking about either this guy was going commando or his undies followed his pants down to his to what I'll call the surrender line. His legs were spread just enough to allow me a fairly clear view of what was hanging there as well. Get over it ladies there wasn’t that much to see in that arena. Of course at our approach this guy pushes himself out of the dumpster pulling up his drawers, if he had any on that is, and his pants but I have to say not fast enough for me. I’m fifteen seconds away from walking onto a restaurant to have a nice meal and this is the image I’m taking in there with me. Oh for the love of God people, that’s not something you want to be seeing in your head while trying to order and eat your next meal.
Come on all you industrial individuals, if you are going to do anything, and this includes dumpster diving, put on a damn belt. Most of us have no interest in being mooned by some stranger while they go about whatever business they are presently occupied with. That image will forever be locked into my brain and I will never be able to wipe it from my memory and the sad thing is it wasn’t even the image of some fine looking young hunk that might have left me with at least a nice little smile on my lips. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to come around a corner and be met with that view either but at least maybe I won’t want to poke my eyes out afterwards.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?