Let’s face it, we all have one, mine has been today. It started out with my dear hubby having to go to the funeral of the sister of his first wife. Now why this should put me off I don’t know and I actually supported him going for the sake of my stepdaughters. Buddy even asked me to go with him but I didn’t think that would be appropriate. No I didn’t split up his first marriage but still…there are some things you just respect and imposing yourself somewhere that could cause discomfort to people who are grieving is just not done. But still, it put me off. Now if you’re thinking that him being around his first wife was the issue, it wasn’t. That dear poor lady passed many years ago. So this was just a matter of me being a baby about the whole thing.
From there it went to me deciding to go shopping and boy was that a mistake. First of all doing anything in this fair city, I use that description in a sarcastic manor, has become problematic at best. A lady my husband works with was on her way home from work the other night and thought her car ran over some large rocks only to get home and find out that her car was riddled with bullet holes. Fortunately the lady wasn’t hurt but only through the grace of God or pure dumb luck, whichever way you might choose to look at it. Personally I go with the grace of God. One poor lady got shot one night last week because she wouldn’t let this person break in front of her to go see an attraction. She survived thankfully but still she was shot.
Then there are the drivers here. Getting on the streets of this city and trying to get anywhere is like entering the world’s most dangerous demolition derby. The only rule when it comes to driving here is that there are no rules. Think I’m exaggerating? Come by and visit and then you can tell me if I’m exaggerating. The traffic was made worse not only by the Christmas shopping season but there were several major events today in town and God love the people visiting this town and I hope they all made it out without incident.
Wait that’s not quite how it went for one event. There was a big marathon here this morning that ended up having to be delayed a couple of hours due to the weather. If I tell you that the high reached the mid-seventies here you might think that was a good thing. Nope. It came with a mildly severe storm that kept people inside in the early morning hours.
Now let’s talk about that weather. The storms moved out by about nine thirty or ten o’clock this morning and the rest of the day was sunny and bright, boy was it bright. So back to the intelligent idea of me going shopping. Right off the bat I no more than made it to my car when I realized that what I was dressed in wasn’t going to work for the day. I had to turn around and come back in and change shirts because what I had on, and it wasn’t heavy by any means just long sleeves, was only going to make me miserable. I should have considered the bottom half of my attire as well. It was a day more for something of a shorter nature and sandals but I stuck with my leggings and low hung boots. OK I’m an idiot.
After a few short trips into a couple of stores and deciding that there was no way in hell I was going to stand in lines two miles long to check something out, I gave up.
At one point I called my hubby to see if he would be much longer and he didn’t answer his phone. Alright I get that the poor man probably had it turned down to keep from disturbing anyone so I sent him a message. After waiting for a short but what I considered a reasonable amount of time I made up my mind I was going to stop and get me something to eat, bring it home, crawl into something comfortable, and eat my meal in piece. I made up my mind what it was I wanted and after playing dodge cars with several idiots finally managed to make it to my restaurant of choice and made my order, got it, and headed back toward the house taking the long route around in order to stay out of the way of the crazies on the main streets. I had one quick stop to make on the way home and it was a quick one. Great almost done with this day from hell and when I got to the cashier the people in front of me suddenly decided that they had forgotten something and every one of them stepped away leaving me the only one in line. Finally something going my way. Then my phone rang.
“Hey honey, where are you?” Buddy asked in his most cheerful voice.
“I’m standing in a checkout line, where are you?” I have to say my voice was a bit hesitant.
“I’m at the house. Where do you want to go to eat?”
Are you f’n kidding me? Where do I want to go eat? I want to go home and stick my hand into this bag I just picked up and chow down on this lovely sub sandwich that I’ve been dreaming of for the past couple of days.
“You haven’t eaten?” I asked a little shortly.
“Oh I nibbled on a couple of things but I didn’t really eat anything to speak of.” He responded with his most innocent voice.
So I drive home toss the lovely sub in the fridge, which will be garbage by tomorrow, and headed out the door yet again to fight the bright evening sun, the traffic, and my now more than slightly irritated attitude only to hear from my dear sweet hubby…
“Oh I did have a barbecue at so-and-so’s house.” My hubby informs me as we pass a police officer in the middle of the street patting down someone and putting handcuffs on them. It’s a miracle that the officer didn’t hit a grand double at that point. Yes hubby still lives but I suggest he gives me a wide berth for the rest of the evening. Things could get ugly.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?