For years I have used one type of mascara. Yes all you cosmetic snobs I use Maybelline mascara. Well a particular type of their mascara. It's called XXL Pro. Maybe I should say was called XXL Pro. You see in the infinite wisdom that Maybelline has shown since it was sold and moved out of Memphis the company that bought it has been so busy making a big deal of being from New York in an attempt to try and outdo the company who makes a flipping big deal with being of Paris that they trash their great products and try to come up with fancy names and packaging for Inferior products. Well inferior to XXL Pro anyway.
OK maybe I'm partial to this one mascara and only use it but there is a reason for that. It did what it was supposed to do. It made my lashes look better. Believe me I have tried many since I am not longer able to buy the one I want in any store. One I bought and paid a small fortune for made my lashes fall out and that was after using it on my lashes only twice. I look like I tried to pluck my eyebrows while I was drunk and missed the mark. None of the ones I've bought, and there have been a lot, have done anywhere near the job that XXL Pro. I mean it was like the difference between a Ferrari and a Ford Fiesta.
Now like I said I may be partial but evidently a lot of other people are as well. Some enterprising individuals must have heard of Maybelline discontinuing the mascara and went out and bought all they could and are now selling the stuff on eBay for forty dollars a pop. I can't be the only person who thought is was great, right? Anyway I did manage to find some and bought four of the damn things. No I didn't spend forty frigging dollars a pop but I spent more than I should have for the blasted things. I can tell you now even before it's in my hand it is worth it.
Anyway I should have enough to get me through a couple of years anyway and by then maybe they will come up with a way to transplant new lashes in your lids. I just have to make sure I get to pick where they take the damn hair from. I really don't thing I want hair from my lower body transplanted to my face. Of course if they take it from the top of my head that could cause a bunch of big problems. If it grows on my eyelids the way it grown on my head I'll have to have a lash trip about every week. Not to mention I have curly hair. The last thing I need is for someone to implant that hair in the wrong direction and it start curling toward my eyeball. Talk about having something in your eye. Geese.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?