Yeah you heard me, OK you read me. I really do but I just can’t seem to get to it. I’ve been in a bit of a slump and right now I’m kind of enjoying it. I’d sit here and wallow in self-pity, but I’m not depressed. I’m just feeling extremely lazy since I have the holidays behind me. Come on, tell me that most of you don’t feel the same way.
I don’t care if you start your Christmas shopping in January the month of December is a roller-coaster ride of obligations, commitments, and social interacting. This process actually starts around the middle of November leading up to Thanksgiving and then runs right into the first few days of the new year. So it’s actually more like two months of Hell with bells.
Any shopping, even if you have all you gift shopping done you still have to eat, you are met with ringing bells going in the door of any store and then your ears are hit with tin can Christmas tunes that make you want to reach out to the person closest to you and strangle them. Not because they did anything wrong to you but simply because they are the closest person to you at the time.
Now let me be straight with you here, I admire all those people who get out and suffer through the cold, bad weather, and bad attitudes of nasty tempered people to ring those bells for a good cause, but what I want to do with those bells sometimes is not nice. Then, I don’t know about where you are but here, you end up hearing those bells on the news because local news stations are trying to drum up business. Good for them but can’t they do that without us having to hear more ringing of those bells? Here’s the crazy part. My favorite Christmas music is of all things, Carol of the Bell, tell me that isn’t sick. I just took a moment to listen to it. I’m telling you people, I’m not right.
Now let’s get back to those people with nasty attitudes, oh and there are a lot of them. When you come across these dark souls, who I swear are decedents of Scrooge, no matter what kind of mood you were in when you encounter these people, you’re going to walk away being in about the same mood that other person was in. Here’s the kicker on this one. You don’t know why these people are in the mood they’re in. They may be down on their luck, they have a family that sucks, or they may have recently lost someone near and dear to them, so you can’t just jump up and slap the crap out of them and tell them to get their heads out of their asses. I mean think about it. You slap the crap out of some horse’s ass and then find out as the cops are putting handcuffs on you as they shove you in the business end of a squad car that this person just lost a loved one…That’s damn sure not going to make for a great Christmas for you.
Then there are the people who work in retail. There are times when I want to grab them by the collar and jerk them across the counter and scream in their faces, hey asshole, it’s Christmas so can you act like you’re happy to be here helping out the customers, but you have to remember these poor people have been dealing with the prior mentioned assholes. Of course they aren’t happy. If they are having to cover a second shift because some self-serving, self-centered, inconsiderate coworker called in at the last minute and they got stuck covering for the absentee worker they really aren’t happy to be there. I don’t blame them.
So please remember these little tidbits of information next year and keep smiling. If you have to use superglue on your face to keep that smile in place, then do it. Whatever you do, try not to make it worse. Remember if you feel the way I do the person you lash out at may be even more irritated than you and they may be the one who ends up in the back of a squad car while you end up in the back of an ambulance, or worse.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?