Well I'm suffering from either lack of motivation or an extreme case of writer's block. I tend to think it has more to do with lack of motivation because the story ideas are there I just can't seem to collect my thought enough to get them down on, well I was going to say paper but let's face it paper isn't what I'm using. No like most I"m sitting here punching these damn keys on my laptop just like most other writers do these days.
I went through this before after finishing a book that took a lot out of me and that is what this latest one did. At this point I would like for you to notice I use latest instead of last when referring to my latest book. I guess I'm superstitious about using the word last. I know it's silly but I never claimed to be rational. Well that's not true either because as a rule I am a rational person but when I go off the rails from that way of thinking about things I go way off. Again let me remind you I'm crazy and that I have stated many times. I don't hide it or run from it. Actually I take a certain amount of pride in my perpetual state of craziness. That is the one really great thing about being my age. When you hit a certain milestone in years it's rather expected of you to not be exactly all there when it comes to your mind.
Oh I know that we are living longer and a lot of people don't look there age and we tend to get around more but let's face it, the minute a younger person finds out how old we are they look at us as if the lights might be on but no one is home. Don't tell me that if you have reached that milestone you haven't experienced it. Come on you've seen that look that crosses over their faces when they find out how old you are. Oh you might not understand what it means but I"m telling you here and now that's it. You're old so you can't be quite right in the head. That "Oh you can't be that old." isn't the compliment you thought but the younger person's attempt to try and register you being allowed to run around on your own without supervision. If you don't believe me watch the slight cloudy look that their eyes take on for a moment. Their poor young minds are trying to find which little pigeon hole you belong in and wondering if they need to call someone before you hurt yourself or maybe someone close by. You can expect this from almost anyone under the age of forty if you are over sixty but as they approach that forty mark the intensity of that look goes down. By the time they reach forty they are beginning to feel the shadows of old age creep up on them and after that point they are happy to see someone who is older and active because it gives them cause to hope.
Yes I'm rambling but there again I'm old and I openly admit that quite happily.
Anyway back to being stuck. I recently, for reason's other than death, lost one of my motivators. No I won't go into it but she did have a way of hitting me in the back of the head when I would get stuck and get me back to writing. Oh well, crap happens and you move forward.
Actually the biggest problem I'm having is my rational side is battling with crazy side where the latest book is concerned. I don't care how much license I take with a subject it still must follow certain guidelines. Once I get that worked out then I can get back to punching the keys and be off to the races. Writing something off the wall is one thing but writing something off the wall without a rational foundation is unacceptable.