I'm sitting here with a mild case of food poisoning, I hope that's all it is, and should try to get some rest but as usual I can't. The written word calls me. You would think that at this point I would be ready to put this thing down and do something constructive. Wait I am, I'm making books, wait that didn't sound right. I'm writing books and short stories so I am doing something constructive.
OK so I write does that mean I have to be stupid? Think about it a minute. I know my tiny little brain needs sleep as does my whole body but I can't sleep. I keep thinking of all the things that I need to be doing.
Well I can't help it. I have always had a very active mind and it's very seldom it is still. I swear I think it's trying to kill me. Hey wouldn't that be a hell of a title for a book? 'My Brain Killed Me', or 'Death by Brain', how about 'The Night My Brain Stabbed Me in the Back.' I wonder how a coroner would list that on cause of death, suicide or murder? Think about that a moment. It really would be both. Of course the brain picking up a knife and then stabbing you in the back would be a bit of an issue. Unless it forced your own arm to do it. Then you have to think about, well even if it did force your arm to carry out the horrendous act have you ever tried to scratch your own back. There are place you just can't reach and you taking a knife and trying to deliver a fatal blow, well it just can't be done I don't think unless your a contortionist. Of course you could always use the knife to scratch your back so there is that. As a matter of fact your mind could tell you that you are just going to scratch your back and then when your back is turned your brain delivers the fatal blow. You still have the problem of being able to get your arm back far enough to be able to get it in the right position to get that damn thing buried in just the right place to accomplish a quick clean kill. My luck I would hit a kidney and end up in the hospital first for the injury and then a mental ward for trying to kill myself. Don't let us even get off on the fact that you screaming it was your brain and not you. That wouldn't go over real well and only serve to get you committed for the rest of your life.
See my brain is never still and who else would come up with that scenario. No one but a crazy sleep deprived writer, sorry but I have another story to go and write.
Oh the reason for the so sorry. I'm sorry for letting this thing get published with so many errors in it. Why I let this get published that way was inexcusable. Sleep deprivation will do bad things to you. I hope I got them all fixed but if not oh well, we all know I'm crazy anyway.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?