I Hope He Never Reads Anything I Ever Write

Well nothing that isn’t directly addressed to him anyway.  Who is it that I shudder at the thought of reading my work…my hubby.  Now this might seem like a strange thing to say but it is a fact.  First we do not have the same taste in reading.  Where I love to crawl into a great horror story or a science fiction epic he does not.  I enjoy the make believe world that a good writer can take me to, he does not.  Where I have a warped and sometimes sick sense of humor, believe me, he does not.  Same applies to the movies I enjoy.  I’m assuming at this point I don’t have to say they are not the type my husband finds entertaining.
Don’t get me wrong, he does have a sense of humor and can be quite funny at times.  The problem is, his is more along the normal, sane for the most part, what I call main line humor.  We all know by now that I’m crazy as bat crap and take great pride in it.
As for the type of movies he does like, well if I like the weird, crazy, scary stuff he pretty much leans toward the very opposite.  You want to talk books?  Not with him.  The types of things he reads requires me to get a beginners manual, a tutorial off the internet, and then he has to walk me through most of it in very tiny baby steps.  Another words while I’m sitting here reading the latest intergalactic super novel he is probably going to be reading Steven Hawking.  I think I’ve mentioned I’m married to a Sheldon.  He’s just not into all, OK I have no other way of putting it here but don’t run out and buy a rope to hang him please, that childish crap.
No, I can assure you he isn’t an ass, ninety five present of the time anyway, and can be a lot of fun to be around.  He also has those moments, as we’ve discussed before, when I’m left standing staring at him wondering how anyone so smart can do something so dumb.  God love the man because he is precious.
Why am I writing about this today?  Several reason really.  First I know he has been asked what he thinks of my work and sometimes that bothers me even though he handles it very well.  Also he is quick to say with pride that his wife is a writer.  I’ve heard him.  I’ve seen him puff out his chest when he does it.  It’s cute.  But as far as him actually reading my work, I’m really OK with him not.  For one thing it would probably give him nightmares and although I strive for that with my readers I’m not sleeping with you guys.
The other thing that has brought this on is that I’m a little ticked at him right now.  You see my sweet hubby sometimes forgets to ask for help with some things.  He tries to be supper considerate of me but my Lord man I know how and can hold a wrench.  I even know what one is.  I’m actually quite good with tools, both hand tools and power tools.  He’s the one who taught me.  I also enjoy spending time with him in those situation, well except when he’s working on a car sometimes because that can get a little nasty.  His language that is.
Buddy general enjoys me being around when he’s working or always seems to but as I’ve gotten older he has gotten more protective and coddling toward me.  I have to admit it can be more than a little endearing but come on man.  When it’s something simple that requires very little effort on my part that can save you hours of time and frustration use that damn brain of yours.  I know that there are some things that it’s best to keep me away from but as long as you keep the knives out of my reach we should be OK.  Oh and no trees please.