Do Not Read This If You're Not An Employee Of Yahoo

Knock, knock, knock.  Hey is anyone home?  Hey Yahoo are you there?  Well let's see if you'll answer the phone.  Ring, ring, ring.  No there isn't any answer.  Let see if they will take an email.  Email sent.                   
No answer to the email.  Well I guess I'll knock on the door again.
Knock, knock, knock.  Hey Yahoo I know you're in there I saw someone walk past the window.  Knock, knock, knock.  Yahoo open the damn door already.  You need to answer the door.  You have people out here who want to talk to you.  Come one people I have something to say.  Boy you people are just rude.
I need help out here.  Hey I have some sick email that needs emergency care.  People are you listening.  My email is dying out here.  What, what's that you say?  Go on the internet and see if one of your 90,000,000 customers can help me?  You mean the people who are untrained and may or may not be able to help.  I'm having a hard time understanding you, can't you open the door and talk to me?   Listen my email is coding out here.  I'm telling you it is dying.  What you can't help me?  What do you mean you can't help me?  You don't have trained service personnel?  Why don't you have trained personnel to handle customer service.  Open the damn door already.   It's tongue is hanging out of it's mouth and it is turning blue.  It's stopped breathing and I've lost pulse.  My God you have let it die.  You hear me Yahoo?  You let it die.
If you were silly enough to read all of this and you aren't an employee of Yahoo then that's on you.  The fact that I wrote it is on me and yes I know it's stupid but maybe someone at Yahoo will read this and know that is how I felt last night while trying to run down a way to contact them. 
Just so you know there wasn't a phone call because there was no contact number.  There was no email because there wasn't anywhere to get an email address.  There isn't even a .com or any other dot to contact them.  Are these the shadow people I've heard people talking about?