Of course the lady of which I speak is me. Did you expect someone else? Of course not.
Some of you know that I belong to a group on facebook called The Creative Evil Female Mind and Other Evil Geniuses. Over the past couple of months, what with illnesses and holidays things got pretty quiet and lax. I mean really quiet and lax. I decided it was time to shake things up a bit, OK a hell of a lot, and make a few changes there. We've added a new administer to our list, adding some new options, taking on a more active role in certain areas, and chopping off heads. Alright that last bit might seem a bit drastic but come on people we're a horror group so what do you expect?
We're also implementing a new critiquing standard within the group and want the members feedback, honest and even sometimes painful feedback. Now from the ones who are generally active I'm getting a lot of positive response but our little never add anything to the group even a like don't seem to be taking the head chopping thing seriously. Really? I'm telling you heads are going to roll.
So here's the part where give me a break comes in. I posted a new somewhat video, you'll have to watch it to understand, and asked for feedback fairly early this morning. I've gotten two. We have seventy one members, until this morning it was seventy three, and I've gotten two. Now the two I got were absolutely glowing but I know that a lot more have looked at this, including one of the people I trust to always tell me the truth which is my daughter, and yet only two have had anything to say. I know I've heard the old saying that if you don't have something good to say don't say anything and we do have several members who are southern but come on people. Just because I said heads are going to roll, obviously I mean that because two already have, doesn't mean that I will kill the messenger. I'm really not that bad. No, I promise, I'm really not. Now if you're going to rake me over the coals big time do it privately please but I don't hold grudges and unless you just get pissy about it I'm generally pretty forgiving and roll with the punches.
OK there are some things I can get nasty about but I don't think anyone is going to step over those lines in the group. If you've read it remember the donuts? Also my hair. Yes I'm one day older than dirt and I wear my hair long. If you don't like it keep it to yourself or you might end up with a badly shaved head yourself. So as long as you don't step on those toes you're doing OK in my book.
Oh there is one other thing that can set me off big time. Don't accuse me of something I didn't do. My mother learned when I was a child the the madder I got when someone accused me of something the more innocent I was. If you know me then you know I can't fake that kind of mad so she always had something to gauge me by. Of course if I had done it, it was rare however that I wouldn't admit to it, if I shrugged something off you could bet my butt was going to be in deep shit and I'm not talking from the toilet. Someone you didn't want to piss off was my mom. Did I ever tell you the one about the piece of watering hose? I know it sounds really bad but if you know the whole story you'll get it. I still laugh about it. Of course I wasn't the one who got sideswiped by it but then my brothers should have never thought it was funny to come in from school and walk up to our mom and pop her on the arm saying how's it going. They didn't realize that they had gotten to the point where they were big enough to hurt her and she did warn them. Damn that's still funny and it only took once for each, on the same day no less. Don't get me wrong those boys would never have meaningfully hurt mom, they were in their early teens and thought they were being cute and still had the idea that Mom was superwoman. She was, just in a different way than they thought.
Anyway I promise not to use a piece of hose on anyone and will always be a kind and gentle executioner.
If you think that was just a boy thing, it isn't. My daughter decided to try it at about eight years old. After me telling her several times to cut it out I had to also result to drastic measures. No not a piece of hose. I just returned the little love tap. She got it. I really didn't hurt her just surprised the crap out of her and she never did it again. For all of you screaming child abuse stick it where the sun don't shine. She grew into a loving, wonderful, extremely intelligent, talented, beautiful young woman that I'm am so very proud of. Also she is still a momma's girl. Big smile on my face right now.
There is one little thing that I've had to accept. I'm not the first on her list anymore. Neither is her feller, his little girl, or her dad. No that spot is reserved for the Boston Red Soxs. We've all learned to accept it.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?