When I started writing I had no idea what all was involved in it. You write a book or you don't. If you write the book you either publish it or not. If you publish the book then you either sit back and see if it sells or you do something to try and help it along. This is where book trailers come in.
Now up until I started writing my only frame of reference as for as a trailer went was for movies and let's face it most of us did and some of us still do refer to them as commercials. Anyway someone told me I needed to do book trailers. Why, it's a book and not a movie. Come on people get real. It's not like you have little movie clips of your story line to put out there for everyone to see. Well do they?
I decided to do some research and see how it's done. It's a big whopping pain in the arse. You either pay someone a fortune to do it or you wade through a bunch of software to do it your self. Are you f'ing kidding me? I'm an old lady and you want me to learn to do new tricks at my age. Come on you've all heard of the old dog right? Well darlings this old dog recently hit a big milestone in the old dog category, no I'm not sharing which one, that should put me well beyond the new trick stage. Of course I could get someone younger and wiser, yeah right on the wiser part, to do it for me. Did you miss the part about being an old dog? Anyone past a certain age knows that when you ask a younger person to do something they might be quick to say yes but it may take them a flipping year to get it done. Don't think so? Ask anyone over a certain age and see what they tell you. Oh the young whipper snapper means well and to them they are doing it in record time, after all the old person would take twice as long to do it because we older people just move too slow, but they have jobs, maybe a mate and kiddies, possibly school or any number of other young things that young people have to do. After all we old folks aren't going anywhere now are we? HAVE YOU LOOKED IN YOUR LOCAL CEMETERY LATELY? We old folks are dropping like flies here.
Anyway back to the book trailers. Now I could have asked someone to find an app and do it for me but I knew how it would go. I refuse to pay someone an extreme amount of money to do it and probably get their idea of what my book trailer would look like instead of it being what I wanted. Remember we old folks are old and not only are we slow but we are dumb when it comes to high techy techy things as Penny calls them on one of my favorite shows. Yes I like Big Bang and I dare anyone to say anything about that. I also like science fiction, Stars Wars and Star Trek especially and cut my baby teeth on horror and science fiction movies long before any of you youngsters and a lot of your parents were ever born, Yes I'm that flipping old.
So what does an old lady do? I went and found the app I thought would best suit me, downloaded it, yes I know how, and started constructing, creating, building or whatever you want to call it all on my own. How's that working out for me you asked. Well I downloaded the app on the tenth of January of this year and I already have two almost completed. So far the people who have seen them have given rave reviews and all but one of about ten people are in the young whipper snapper category. Am I going to post one for you to see here? No. Not tonight. You see one of them I'm waiting on a very talented 'young' musician to get back with me for the melody he wrote for some lyrics I wrote. It's been six months. He has it done he just hasn't got it to me. Too busy chasing fires I guess, also a small child, oh and my daughter Gina. He might want to think about keeping momma bear happy because if momma bear ain't happy ain't nobody happy. The other one needs a bit more tweaking but it's pretty much a done deal.
So my point to all this? Well If you have never written a book and are considering writing one, or have started one be forewarned. Writing the book I have found out, after five of them, is the easy part. It's what comes after that's a bitch.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?