I managed to upload my book on Smashwords. Not only did I upload it but they found no problems with it so it was immediately available online. Now it takes it a while usually for it to go Premium if it ever does and mine made it in less than eighteen hours. Go me. Everything is fine, great even, right? Remember I'm an idiot. Nooooooooooooooo. I'm sitting there looking pretty and what do I do. I found what I thought was a slight problem so I fixed it and uploaded again. I'm now sitting back in pending with a nice little note from Smashwords that very nicely states, What the hell did you do that for? You made it Are you stupid. No they didn't put it that way but that is the way it sounded to me and rightfully so.
I have to admit that I must have rolled off the turnip truck yesterday and am so stupid that I don't remember I did. Here's the real kicker. Now don't get me wrong I'm not putting much into to this right now, but you never know, I have actually already had someone ask me if I would consider having it made into a movie. Who this person is isn't important but let's just say she has some connections. She is going to give my name and number to someone who has won a Sag award. Her daughter has made a film or two with the guy so I can't discount it all together but I'm not running out to buy a private island either. I'm just keeping an open mind. Or at least I thought I was but now it appears I have no mind and someone needs to put me somewhere I can't do anything else stupid or hurt myself.
So let's pat the poor idiot on the head and tell her to go sit down and shut the hell up.
I thought this might be appropriate for this to have a second run. Things have a way of coming back around and here it is again. Another book. Oh this one is much different and by far the scariest one yet I think. You see this time it isn't my just my butt on the line but the butts of many others. I have been given the honor of putting together a collection of short stories by a group of phenomenal writers. They have trusted me with some of their most prized possessions, their stories. It was funny that I ran across this when I did. So much has changed since this was first published in October of 2014. Not only was the first book published but now there are four more out there. Now this new one, Something in the Shadows, will be out sometime next month I hope. So please read on and I hope you get a chuckle out of this. I did.
Blog for Oct. 2014
Here I am again. Is there no end to the nightmare. I was ready to upload my book and I decided to do one more run through to make were all my i's were dotted and all my t's were crossed. Guess what. I had a bloody mess.
Somehow I ended up with broken sentences, and paragraphs, misspelled words, and punctuation where there shouldn't be and not where it should be. I can only say that my computer tried to screw me royally and almost got away with it.
Now I am quite sure that anyone reading my blog has figured out that my grammar isn't the best in the world but damn. Anyone with half a brain and one eye could have seen there was something seriously wrong with what I was about to put out there for the world to read. Well a few people anyway because after one or two people read that and wrote a review not many more would have bothered.
I am now going through and correcting the damn thing and I will be on my way. Or at least I hope I will.
I finally settled on a book cover and now this.
Speaking of book covers that has been a real thrill ride. I have gone through so many ideas that I know the people on facebook think I am truly a nut case. As you can see at the top of this page I finally picked one that I like but I will be second guessing myself for days to come.
I think I am going to crawl into my bed and pull the covers up over my head and pretend I am in a pretty little place where all the pretty little creatures play nice and wait on me hand and foot and do everything they can to make me happy. The colors in my lovely little world are all pretty and there are lots of rainbows and flowers that always bloom and no bees, wasp, or spiders. Hey it is my fantasy world so my flowers can bloom without the first and there are no other nasty little insects so the second two are not needed either. If you don't like it then you don't have to come visit but if you like the way I run things here and can be perpetually nice then by all means come by and visit and sit a spell. I'll let you know how long you can stay after you get here.
OK here I am again fighting with my computer, my lack of sleep, and the general crap that life can throw at you. I can't make up my mind about a book cover and I keep changing it. I'm stressing over the whole idea of publishing and my husband is over 600 miles away working. What the hell am I doing?
Right now I would love a little padded room with or with out a view. A good long rest and lots and lots of drugs to keep me from thinking about anything.
Now that that is out of my system what in the world have I got to say that is worth anyone reading?
The truth is not much of anything I guess but let's face it, it isn't going to stop me. If I get through this with a friend or relative left who will speak to me it will be a miracle. Hell I had a friend just tell me that she didn't want to talk to me because I was to engrossed in what I was trying to do. I don't blame her, she was right.
This fighting with this stupid box that we have all become so tied to, not to be confused with that little gadget we carry in our hands, is going to really send me to the nut farm. This of course will be after I throw the damn thing out the front door and take a shot gun to it. Yes at this point I am quite capable of of doing just that.
Imagine the satisfaction I would get out of that one violent action. Don't tell me that there is a one of you out there who hasn't had the same idea or something like it at some point in time.
My cell phone, I would love to take up skeet shooting and that little bast#@t the first 'pidgin' I take a pot shot at.
Now this isn't because of people calling, that isn't a really big problem these days, but because of the 'no service' that I seem to get more often than not when I am traveling. Have you ever wondered around an RV park, or anywhere for that matter, holding out your phone and contorting your body in all kinds of weird ways trying to get a signal? I have. Often. I must look like a dying hippo in horrendous pain. OK maybe a baby hippo.
Oh well I think I will try to get some sleep right after I set up my darling little box to defrag. If it gets up and walks out the door during the night I can't say that I will be too terribly upset. Oh wait I still have to get everything done for this damn book. This SOB better still be sitting here in the morning.
Here I am again wondering what the hell am I doing? While trying to update my virus protection for this damn computer I hit another brick wall. OK I have to admit that I let my subscription lapse but come on, it shouldn't take longer to download a program than it takes to deliver a baby. Think I'm kidding? I started on it at 8:00 AM this morning and that s.o.b is still not installed on this damn thing and it is now 6:54 PM.Now I know a lot of you are going to tell me to call customer support. I have, ten times today. I will be back on the phone with them in the morning. I even went to far today as to allow someone in a foreign country to take over full control of my little pc of nightmares and dicker around in some of my most secret places. For those of you with dirty little minds I first typed box and then changed that to pc. Now don't sit there and try to pretend that it didn't cross your mind. If you didn't think anything of it, good for you. The result of this is I have had absolutely had no time to work on getting published today.
Anyway, getting back to the what the hell am I doing question. As problematic as this is, tomorrow I will get up and take up my sword, get on my trusty steed, ride out of the battlements of my castle and kill the ogre that holds my kingdom prisoner. If you get a chance to come and watch that you really should.
First I wouldn't know how to wield a sword if my life depended on it, second I have no steed and even if I did I don't know how to ride so I would end up on my ass post haste. Third I have no castle, battlements or no stables, so trying to fit a horse in my little house would be a real joke. The forth is the most important thing of all. If I saw a real ogre I would have a heart attach right on the spot and that would be the end of the battle.
It is settled then. I will get up tomorrow and get me a good jolt of caffeine and battle McAfee and get my book formatted and get on with the business at hand.
Well here it is Oct 11, 2014 and the book has been finished for some time. Actually writing the book was the easy part it would seem. The real work has been in getting it proofed, edited, and formatted. We won't even start on the book cover.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?