I’m sure I have made that comment before but it’s official now.  No I didn’t go to a shrink and get my head examined, although I probably should, and have been formally declared totally insane.  Now as I said before I probably should but why waste the money and time to have someone else tell me what I already know.
So what has brought this to the forefront now?  Well while playing homage to my aging female vanity, as in doing a touch up on my roots and yes I do color my hair, I decided to take a selfie.  Now taking a selfie while your hair is plastered with gobs of a bright red gooey mix of chemicals to get the desired shade of red doesn’t come under the heading of vanity.  No simply the fact that I refuse to grow old gracefully comes under that heading.  Any person, male or female, who has ever undertaken to try and beat back the hands of time knows the last thing you want is for anyone to see you in that shape.  Therefore I have to admit that I got hit with the crazy bug in full force and come up with this wicked little idea.
Why would anyone in their right mind do something like a take selfie at a time like this?  I told you I’m crazy.  Did that craziness end there?  Of course not.  You’ve heard the old adage ‘there is a method to my madness’?  In this instance no truer words were ever spoken.  Yes there was a deep seated madness running through my mind and I definitely had a method.  The results of that spur of total insanity is something that may very well put me in an insane asylum or possible even in jail.  The only person in my family who has seen this little piece of artwork is my daughter and although she hasn’t stated she didn’t like it she did make a statement that let me know she didn’t care for it.  I have to say once I finished with it, it gave me a bit of the creeps.  Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I managed to produce a master piece but given the situation it is unnerving.
No I’m not posting the image here because to do so might get me kicked off every social media I belong to, I could be wrong but who knows.  Yes it is graphic or at least I think so as does my daughter I think.  Not an image she wants of her mother and maybe I should have thought of that before I did it.  Think about it a moment.  You’re sitting there looking at yourself in that position and then tell me it wouldn’t make you a little uneasy.  Do I regret doing it?  Oh hell no.  I told you I’m bat crap crazy and that side of me gets a strange sense of satisfaction at having have achieved that level of gruesomeness.  Now I didn’t just create the image either.  I made a back story.  To see the complete photo you’ll have to go to my facebook page; https://www.facebook.com/cathypacematthewsauthor/
Sorry but I added a pic for fun even before the censored edition of my gruesome rendering.  Hey consider it a treasure hunt for those of you who like it bloody and for those of you who don’t, stay way…
The celebration of some at the thought of my death and the possible heart attack I might give to the people who love me has more to do with this than anything.

As some of you may know I’ve been working on a book with a group of fabulous writers and we have run into more problems than anyone could have imagined.  I won’t go into them but it has been one after the other.  I will say that getting a book published is never an easy one, two, three process or at least it hasn’t been for me.
The latest thing really doesn’t have anything to do with me or me working on the book really but it has thrown me into a bit of a spin.  It’s unbelievable how something that happens to someone you don’t even know can affect you.  Something like that happened to me today and I’ve found myself doing heavy duty cleaning, cooking, and baking.  No I won’t go into that either because it isn’t my pain and my story and I have no right to use that for any reason and the only reason I mentioned it was because it set me on this little whirlwind of motherly actions.  Yes it set off my mother’s instincts.
Anyway the actual point of the story is that I know some of our writers have gotten a little nervous over the setbacks and I understand that.  Believe it or not getting a book published is a little like giving birth.  You spend a lot of time trying to get a book together.  It doesn’t matter if it is a novel or a collection of short stories, you work hard and put your very soul into it.  It involves sleepless nights, walking the floor, and trying to come up with names.  You suffer heartburn, nausea, headaches, and even sometimes swelling of the feet and hands.  Things that may not come up when you are pregnant are the shutting out your family and friends, become closed in, and you may behave so erratically at times that those same family and friends wonder if you’ve lost your mind.  OK maybe that last one comes with expecting sometimes, I didn’t but I know those who have.  The difference in a book and a baby?  Well the baby you love with every ounce of your heart and soul, the book is your heart and soul.
No a book isn’t the most important of the two and in all honestly there really isn’t any comparison but unless you have traveled down that path you probably won’t understand why I compare the two.  The thing is after you have a baby you hold in your arms a human being who will love you almost no matter what, at least my daughter still does.  When you finally get your book published however it’s another story.
Yes if you get it in hard print you will have something to hold but the fact is it will never return any feeling you have for it.  Yes the baby is the best bargain when it comes to emotions and in most others for that matter.  With the book you have to wait for people to read it, if they do, and hope they will love the book if not you.  With a baby you only need and want the love of that one child, or the love of however many children you end up having, but for that book to give you any real return in emotion means that many many people have to pick it up and love it.
Don’t get me wrong, when you finally finish writing the book there is that sense of happiness, satisfaction, and pride that comes close to giving birth but it is the knowing that people are reading and loving what you did that is the real reward.  OK if you manage to make a lot of money makes it feel good too.  At least that’s what I’ve heard but I can assure you I’m not speaking from experience on that one.
Anyway to those of you who are planning on writing, are presently working on writing, have finished writing, or have finished and are afraid of publishing a book take heart.  It can be done.  No matter who you are, what you do, or how old you are it is never too late to take that uncertain step down that road.  My advice is go for it.  The only person who is holding you back is you and what you may gain from it, no matter how big or small, is well worth the journey.
Now as for those other authors who are waiting for our little bundle of joy to hit the press.  Take heart.  It will happen and a whole new bunch of worries will take over from there.

Coming soon;