When my daughter Gina turned eighteen I started giving her room to be an adult.  I stopped telling her what to do or making decisions for her.  This went on for several months but I started noticing Gina was acting different.  I knew more than anything else she wasn’t happy.  This ultimately led to a blow up between us one night.  Finally I asked her to tell me what was going on.
“Do you not love me anymore?”  Was the response I got.  I was stunned.
You see Gina thought that because I wasn’t being the mom she was accustom to that I was done being a parent and she was now on her own pretty much.  Believe me we talked way into the wee hours of the morning that night and that’s when I told her why I had been treating her the way I had.  Finally she told me that she had a lot of friends and over the years friends would come and go but she only had one mom and that was all she wanted me to be.  So you see that’s the relationship we still have.  I’m her mom and she is my daughter.  We’re mom and daughter who just happen to be friends but we’re still mom and daughter no matter what.
So what’s all this about?  It’s about the times that Gina can still make me proud to be her mom and times when she says or does something that lets me know she respects me as her mom.  I know that sounds silly but maybe you’ll get it by the time you finish reading this.
When I wrote my first book it took Gina almost a year before she got up the courage to sit down and read it.  You see Gina and I are extremely honest with one another.  Painfully honest.  If I don’t want to know how something really looks on me believe me I know not to ask her if it does.  Same here for her.
Gina was afraid that she might not like my book, I can’t blame her for thinking this because just because her mom wrote it didn’t mean it was going to be good and the last thing she wanted was to tell me it was crap.  I had no idea she was going to pick that book up that day and the first time I knew about it was when she called me crying.  I mean she was really crying.
When I asked her what was wrong she told me she had just finished reading ‘Blood Lines The Curse.’  Well that didn’t sound good but I asked her was it really that bad.  She told me no it was that good.  Once she picked it up she couldn’t put it down either.  OK so why was she crying?  That’s when she told me why she hadn’t read the book because she didn’t want to have to tell me it stunk if it was bad.  Turned out she was crying because for one thing, the ending made her cry and second because the book was really good and she was so proud of me.  This wasn’t the you’re my friend and I’m proud of you this was the my mom did this and I’m so proud of her.  Yes there is a difference.  Yes it made me cry and I can’t begin to explain how I felt at that moment.  Proud wouldn’t cover it.  To have your child tell you that they are proud of something you’ve accomplished is an amazing feeling  Now I didn’t go into this because I felt like promoting one of my books but because yesterday at lunch she told me something that happened that made me feel that way again.
Gina is involved with a young man who has a little girl who he has total custody of so Gina became a mother herself overnight.  Savannah is Jud’s little girl and she has wormed her little self into the heart of almost everyone in the family.  She is an adorable little thing who I call my little Snuggle Bunny.  Yes there is a point to this as well.
Savannah has a disorder that has affected her physical development.  What it is I won’t go into but this disorder not only keeps her from developing at the rate other children do it also makes her a very small child for her age.  Savannah is seven and I have a three year old granddaughter who is as tall as Savannah.  Anyway Savannah has to have a personal assistant at school because among other things her balance isn’t what it should be.  This assistant’s job is to be there and make sure that Savannah doesn’t fall down stairs and things along that line.  The problem is because of how small Savannah is she wraps everyone around her little finger, even the students she attends school with.  Everyone loves her.  This has resulted in everyone spoils her at school and believe me she knows how to work it.  She’s a sharp little cookie.
When Savannah got home from school the day before yesterday Gina was taking things out of her back pack and noticed the child’s spelling words that Savannah was supposed to copy off the board weren’t in her handwriting.  Gina asked her who wrote them down and was informed that Ms. So-n-so did.  Gina asked her why she didn’t write them herself and after running around the bush a couple of times Gina just out and out asked her, “You just didn’t want to write them down did you?”  The darling little twit told Gina that was really what it was.  Now were getting to the reason for telling this long story.
Gina went over to a book shelf in her living room and pulled out a book and held it up in front of the little girl.
“Savannah you see this book?  You see all the pages in this book?  You see all the words in this book?  Your Nene wrote all these words and put them together to make this book.”  Gina then pointed at several of the books on the shelf and continued with, “You see all those books?  Your Nene wrote down all the words in all those books.”
After relating the story to her father and me she said that she wanted Savannah to know how important those words she has to copy are and she couldn’t think of a better example than me.  Now I don’t know about you but I was proud of that.  I know that part of the reason that she used me for an example was because she knew that Savannah would connect more with it being someone she knows and loves than using a complete stranger but the other was that she was proud of what I had done.  She was also using me as an example of what Savannah could do if she worked for it.  Yes I got that feeling again.

I know, I know, that’s a pretty lousy thing to say but let’s face it, they are.  I don’t mean this in a bitchy way I promise.  You guys just have something that cuts off in your brains when it comes to certain things.
For instance while at lunch with my daughter and my wonderful hubby Gina got a call from her guy.  He just realized he is off on Monday and it means it runs into his four day off period.  He’s a fireman.  Here that means he works twenty four hours, off twenty four, works twenty four, off twenty four, works twenty four, then he’s off for four days in a row.  The fact that the holiday falls into that doesn’t affect his days off but it does mean that his daughter is out of school for three days in a row so he has decided he wants to go camping.  Good idea right?  No.
Here it is the Wednesday before Labor Day and he wants Gina to find them a camp ground and book it for those three days.  What part of Labor Day weekend does he not get?  The odds of Gina being able to find some place they can get at this late date is slim to none.  This isn’t the first time he has come up here at the last minute thinking that Gina is going to be able to move Heaven and Hell and manage to pull that miracle out of the crack in her ass.  That is about as likely to happen as it is that I’m going to win the lottery tonight.  You add into that the fact that I haven’t bought a lottery ticket and you get what I’m talking about here.  The stupid things in regards to you guys doesn’t end there.  My adorable little hubby managed to come off sounding even dumber not long after that.
We get back home and as usual I’ve got my head in my computer and look up and see him changing his shirt.  Evidently I must have cut my eyes at him in an odd way because he went.  “Whaat.”  No that’s not a mistake there but simply the way he drew it out.
My short answer back at him was “Oh you’re still a cutie.”
He chuckled a bit as if he thought I was just being nice to him so I decided to just lay it out there for him.  Get your heads out of the gutter please.
“Actually Buddy you’re still a damn sexy man and looked good standing there.”  He actually did ladies.  Boy did I hit the jackpot there.

I just published my latest book Laugh, Cry, Die but when I say I published that's what I mean. I by no means am the only writer to have a story in it. Patricia Knight and Matt La Verda both were kind enough to allow me to spotlight a story by each one of the two fabulous authors. Make no mistake about it, they are authors.
The way these two put up with my falling behind on the schedule and were always patient with me and their amazing dispositions throughout this process was inspiring.
As for the story's they entrusted me with I can only say they are extraordinarily wonderful. For Matt who had never done anything like this before I can only say how proud I am that I am a small part of helping him develop his talent. Patricia is a natural born story tell that holds your interest from beginning to end.
Thank you both for allowing me to share your work with others.
To the group The Creative Evil Female Mind and Other Evil Geniuses as always you leave me speechless in your support of others and the kindness each of you bring to the table.
Thank you all for being the wonderful people you are.

Bob, "Lisa are you OK?"
Lisa, "No Bob I don't feel well."
Bob, "What's wrong?"
Lisa, "Running a fever and I think I have an infection."
Bob pulls of his shirt off and immediately strikes what he hopes is an enticing pose.
Bob, "Does this make you feel better Lisa?"
Lisa, "No Bob I can honestly say it doesn't.  Sorry I can't feed your ego right now."
Bob, "Damn honey you really do feel bad."
Yes this is an actual conversation between two people, I have changed the names to protect the innocent.
So what's the flipping point to posting this?  Well it's simple, any woman who has had the urge to gaze at any pics or if you're one of the lucky women to have owned one will understand.  Our Bob is a young fireman.  If the shirtless visage of her very attractive man couldn't take her mind off the way she felt then it was not good.
What I found funny was the fact that the guy really used this as a gauge to determine his lady's illness.  No only is he a very attractive young fireman but he is also a trained EMT.  Yes an EMT and still his way of gauging poor Lisa's degree of being ill was to remove his shirt.  I can only imagine that is has got to be one hell of a lot better to gaze in person on one than just looking at  these wonderful examples of the human male forms displayed in a calendar.  It has to be if an EMT uses this as a gauge for illness in a woman.  I wonder if they do that when they answer a call for all female patients, rip off their shirts that is, to determine if a female patient is truly ill.  After hearing about that conversation I can only say one thing.  Damn, I need to call an ambulance.

You really didn't think I was going to leave you ladies hanging did you?

Money, Money, Money, How Far Will It Go?
I decided to write how far will it go and then put my website address on some money to see what would happen.  I know, I know defacing and all that.  First I wrote on the back not the face.  It’s a joke people.  About the back instead of the front thing that is.
I didn’t know it might pose a problem until after I did it and I’ll be damn if I’m not going to spend it so I’m in for the whole nine yards.  I did decide to look it up after the fact and the only thing that I found that might be illegal is if you actually deface the face of whichever president is on the bill.  So who knows.  Even that may be iffy.  I don’t know if they still have these are not but when I was younger they used to have those stupid machines that you put a penny in and you were charged for this machine to smash and write something on the flattened out piece of copper and if that wasn’t illegal then what the hell.
Anyway if at some point I go completely silent then it’s possible I’ve been hauled off to jail.  If you think that is what happened then please get into contact with my daughter through the facebook group The Creative Evil Female Mind and Other Evil Geniuses.  Please get my new address and try to send me a cake with a file in it.  If you can’t get the file in please send the cake anyway.  Hey what have I got to watch my weight for in there?  Oh I prefer German Chocolate.
It will be interesting to see if I get any comments on my website from anyone who comes across those poor bills.  I would also like to apologize to the government in advance for what I did and know that I will not do it again.
Stop your screaming please.  I know this amounts to a confession and could be used against me in a court of law but I wouldn’t lie about it anyway.  All I could do is throw myself on the mercy of the court and hope that I didn’t spend the next thirty years behind bars.  If I did do you think I would be able to write.  Hum.
Anyway if you happen to come across one of these bills somewhere along the line in the future leave a comment and let me know.

Chapter 1

Well here I am releasing a new book.  Actually it isn’t quite new.  It’s a collection of short stories some of which you will find right here on my website.  Now don’t go into a tizzy over this.  The book will be released in eBook form and will be free.
As well as the short stories you might have read there are several that are new not to mention two stories from great new writers.  Their names are Patricia Knight and Matt La Verda.
I can’t begin to tell you what awesome people these two are.  They have been a joy from beginning to end to work with.  The description of them belies the type of writers they both are.  Matt will rip at your heart strings while creeping the crap out of you and Patricia shows no mercy when it comes to telling a story.
The title pretty much reflects what you’ll find inside.  As I’ve said you’ll find the stories run the gamut of writing genres from humor to all out horror.  The book aims to do just what the title implies to make you laugh, cry, well I don’t want anyone to die except in the stories themselves but we do hope to scare you a bit.  On the last one our aim is to actually scare the crap out of you.
I hope you will download the book and give it a read, after all, it won’t cost you a thing if do download.  I think you will enjoy.

As most of you know that man would be Buddy.  If you have read any of my stories about him you also know that I love him dearly, not always a reason to marry someone let’s face it, and he is never dull.  Being married to him is not always a picnic for more reasons than one.  He is stubborn, thick headed, and can be challenging to say the least when it comes to his escapades.  No marriage is without it’s hard times and pain.  Buddy’s need to do it himself carries with it a lot of tense moments when he is trying to figure out how to do something the first time and can lead to mishaps and blood , including some of my own a couple of times.  The thing is he does figure it out the first time and whatever he starts on gets finished and finished right.
So why am I now putting that question out there now?  Because I know why I married him.  Sometimes I forget but then it comes back to me in waves.  The very thing that makes him take on things he never has before and making it right is one of the big reasons.  The other, well it’s in some of those moments that he shows how much he loves me and how he will go about making something work out right to make me happy.  He did that today.
For so many reasons we never got around to getting me a pair of those damn glasses to watch the eclipse today.  Not because we couldn’t afford them but because life just kept getting in the way of us picking some up from one of the places where you could get the right ones.  Silly I know but life happens and all of it was silly.  Buddy fixed it.  No he didn’t suddenly run out today and find a pair of glasses he went one better in my opinion.  He figured out a way to work around them.  As I have said he takes on all kinds of projects and ends up doing a great job and one of the things he has learned to do when he has to is weld something.
This means he has a welder’s helmet.  This is something that was OK to use as long as it was a level 14 or higher.  What he had in his helmet was a 10 so that wasn’t high enough but even that didn’t stop him.  He also had a level 5 lens so he took both the ten and five and put them together so I was able to see the eclipse.  OK I agree that’s cute but still not quite the ‘awe he knocked it out of the park’ great maybe.  What put it out of the ballpark for me however is the fact that he helped work out a way for me to get a picture of the eclipse.
We have a daughter who is very sick today, no that anything serious but bad enough to keep her in and in bed for a few days so she couldn’t watch it either.  Because of the frames around the filters from the welding helmets putting them together to put over the lens of my smartphone or even a camera wasn’t working.  He did something that in and of itself was simple but he did it quick and handed them over to me before the whole thing was over and I was able to get a picture good enough to send that picture to my daughter so she had her own picture of the eclipse that her parents took for her.  No, it isn’t the greatest picture of the eclipse but still it’s hers and her parents made it happen.
It may be something a lot of people will find silly but that is the kind of thing that reminds me why I married him and why I love him so much.

I don’t know if I’m the only woman who is overcome with disgust almost every time I see a commercial about appliances but maybe I am.  It has been more than apparent to me most of my life that advertising agencies think that women are dumber than a box of rocks and have the libido of a rabbit.
Now I have to admit that I do think that Colin Ferguson is a real cutie but I do not go into my laundry room thinking that he is sitting there in place of my washer and dryer.  If I did I would hope that my family would catch on and have me admitted to a psych hospital as soon as possible.
I swear if I see one more appliance commercial where they have women swooning at the sight of an electrically run oversized metal box I may take a page out of the book of one of my brothers and shoot my television.  Don’t get excited there folks, he was about six years old and it was with a beebe gun.  Don’t go getting your britches in a bunch over that one either.  That was a hundred years ago and the gun was supposed to have been empty, a stray bebee must have managed to hide away inside the darn thing or at least that was the story my dad told.  Anyway my brother shot the screen out of a brand new television which didn’t make either of my parents happy.
Back to the appliance thing.  If you think that the company who puts out the commercials with that lovely hunk of man is the only one doing it you’d be wrong.  There is more than one company taking this route but the others aren’t even bothering to add the eye candy.  Is there a sexual component to appliances that I’ve never picked up on?  “You in the corner over there, shut up.” 
The thing is, it’s not just appliance commercials but just about anything that is directed toward women.  A piece of chocolate can melt all your troubles away, they leave out the part about it putting ten pounds on your ass for your effort, to some miracle product that will take fifty years off your face overnight.  Also the commercials about prepackaged food that will make your life so much easier and allow you to feed your family a totally healthy, well balance meal in no time is total bullshit.  Hey and my all-time favorite is the eyelash commercials.  They hand you all this crap about how long and thick their product is going to make your lashes the whole time zooming in on the model who is obviously wearing false eyelashes.  If that is not the biggest insult to my intelligence I don’t know what is.
Personally I think we should start a movement but I doubt that anyone would pay attention after all we’re too busy getting our jollies from our appliances, eating chocolate as a mood altering drug, and looking for those perfect false lashes in that tube of mascara to follow through but if anyone is interested let me know.  I bet we could make a difference.  “Hey you in the corner I told you once to shut up so don’t make me tell you again.”

While in New Orleans I had the pleasure of meeting some beautiful young women.  These lovely ladies were there to do a photo shoot for the modeling company they work for.  I was stunned by them when I stepped out of the hotel one morning.  They were posed in almost military style.  They were using the garage as a backdrop for the photos.  It was a perfect background for those pictures.  You had all these hard edges and heavy duty building material that went into building that hotel that were a perfect contrast to the curves of these young women.
LaKiesha Olivier, who is the owner of the modeling company Curvii Addictions, is an intelligent and savvy business woman and is as lovely as her models.
I know that for years that if you weren’t a size 0 a woman was treated like some sub-human and here you have these curvy ladies stepping out of the shadows showing us that you don’t have to be a bean pole to be beautiful.  Thank you ladies for giving me the inspiration to see myself in a far more positive light.  Keep it up and maybe the little girls coming up now will be inspired by you ladies and others like you.
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