This week I got a new phone as most of you already know if you read my blog. Also as most of you know this is a traumatic and mind numbing experience to say the least. We might spend several years with that little piece of equipment stuck to our ear or at least glued to our hand. Hell much more and the damn thing could be considered an actual extension of our body. Another words we become attached to that damn thing because it has becomes a part of us. So as much as we may want that new phone we hate letting go of the old one.
Then you have the whole set up process that goes with that new phone. I have to admit that I'm not a real tech savvy individual but I'm not stupid either. I'm somewhere in between technically challenged and technically ignorant. Another words I'm capable of turning the damn thing on and then I scream help. With this new one I have to admit even turning the damn thing on proved to be it's own new test of my capabilities. My God it asked for my fingerprint. Come on people is that really doing you a lot of good. Yes it sounds good on the front end but unless you're trying to keep your husband or wife out of your crap do you really think that a thief is going to worry about whether or not they can access your info when they steel the damn thing? No. So like I said unless you're doing something that you don't want your husband or wife knowing about what's the point.
Anyway got the phone, got it turned on, and with a little help of a tech savvy young man at my provider I was up and running in about eight hours. Hey the 'hook up' with the old and the new took a while. Like I said in an earlier blog, he might be old but his staying power was phenomenal. OK the old thing was slower than Christmas.
So what's this have to do with the asshole? Well here I am with my nice new phone all shiny and pretty and I have to have a new case to protect the little darling. So off my husband and I go to the mall, something I hate as much as I hate going to the dentist facing a root canal, to buy a new case at one of those kiosks for my phone. Of course we found one.
This is where the asshole comes in. Walk up to the kiosk and the man drops what he's doing to offer his services. He addresses my husband. Not a problem my husband directs him to me. "What kind of cover are you looking for little lady?" Little Lady, are you kidding me? I'm an old lady and that nut head addressing me as Little Lady at my age set my nerves on edge. He then ask me for my phone which I reluctantly hand over to him. "What color are you looking for?" What? What color am I looking for? Shouldn't we first consider what kind I want? So I respond with I'm looking for a black Otter Box.
Great this should be over in a matter of minutes and I'll be out of the hell that most people call a mall and on my way to dinner. Nooooo. He turns around and pulls one of those cheap little crap pieces down with this horrendous yellow and pink zig-zag pattern down and puts my phone in it and hands it back to me. "I think you will like this more." Are you f'n kidding me? What part of black Otter Box did you not understand? Now mind you at this point he starts ignoring me and addressing my husband, thinking it would appear, that the man would bring me in line with his way of thinking. Now my husband who is trying to be a diplomat while trying to keep me from getting upset and doing serious bodily harm to this moron, you would have had to be there to understand how far this had gotten at this point, tells the guy again that it's my phone. I tell him again a black Otter Box. "Why do you want a black one?" Are you out of your mind you idiot? What the hell does it matter why I want a black one? I told you I wanted a black one and that's all there is too it. I should have said my profession is killing people and I don't want it to be seen should I have to take a call while trying to sneak up on my intended victim and bash their brains out, which he is in serious danger of me carrying out on him now. Instead I simply said because that's what I like. At this point you would imagine that he would simply hand over the one I asked for but no. He again turns to my husband and tries to sell him a load of crap ignoring me. Buddy tell the guy that it's my phone and get me the black Otter Box. Finally he pulls one out that is black with orange trim. I want solid black I inform this poor excuse of human being and I'm seriously starting to think of ways to knock the sob off. Now here is the kicker. "Well with the black one when you put it on the kitchen counter it's harder for you to see so you want the bright color." Oh no he didn't? Oh hell no he f'n didn't? Yes he did. Seriously? Do I look like the nice little grandmotherly type who's only claim to fame is standing over a hot stove waiting on others like some slave? Excuse me I now say to this asshole who had no business out in public dealing with women.
It was at this point he is called away by another customer and leaves my husband and me alone. Cathy do you want to go someplace else? Yes. I wouldn't have taken a free glass of water from this s*^t head in the middle of the desert at this point because I was so mad.
We walked away to another kiosk a little further down from the asshole and his. We found the new one and there purchased a case from a very nice young man who understood what I wanted and got it for me. He pulled out the black Otter Box as well as another one along the same line as Otter Box and gave me the low down on both and I choose the one I wanted. No it wasn't the Otter but evidently this guy understood what kind of woman I was. He pulled out a Ballistic in black and I left his little kiosk combat ready. Now to hunt down that asshole.
Well The two little lovers finally finished their mating ritual and have long since smoked their cigarettes and gone to sleep. I really figured that the little lady would have tuckered out the old boy and his lights would have just gone out never to be heard from again. Oh no, that old boy may be sleeping like a baby right now but he is still quite ready for more action if called upon. Who knew. You see with this new phone you have to use a new heart(SIM Card) so the old guy didn't have his ripped from him like I have had to do in the past to all the ones that have gone before him. Hell he may still have the one in him that I ripped from the first smart phone I ever had. Boy could that heart tell some tales. Anyway the old boy is still up and running and I can even still make calls from it as long as he is hooked to a wireless life line (WyFy). So what I now have are two phones that can get on my last frigging nerve. I only hope he doesn't become as big of a pain in the ass as most men do when they have reached a certain point in life. Anyway he is still capable of spouting out useless data at the touch of a button and entertaining me as well as keep me up to date on local weather. Just so you know so far there doesn't seem to be any little micro phones running around but there is a definite pooch in the area where the camera is on the new phone. I wonder.
Our first entry into horror stories. It's called, can I get a drum roll please, It's called "The Curse of the New Phone", Another drum roll please.
I will put off getting a new phone just because of that reason. It is a curse. You get the damn thing then you spend the entire time you have it trying to set the mf up. Yes I said MF. Have a problem with it, so what. Two hours I have been trying to get to where I can simply make a phone call just so I could call the service provider to finish what I couldn't without someone talking me through it. Now my old phone is setting in the floor next to the new one at my feet transferring data from one to the other. I'm afraid that when this is over I'm going to have little Galaxy 9's running around everywhere terrorizing the neighborhood. Wait maybe it would be 4 1/2's. Oh well who knows. Anyway if you hear of this invasion, run, get as far away as you can before they get you. I'm sure it won't be pretty. It would be like that scene in The Mummy with Brendon Fraser. You know the one where the guy is suddenly covered with all those nasty over size Egyptian beetles. They will take over your body and turn you into a power port and suck you dry. Run I say, RUN... Oh no... Their here. Someone help me... Some one helll...
My daughter just started back to school after taking a few years off. Now she has done everything asked of her in a timely and efficient manner. She has made sure to dot her I's and cross her T’s. Great, no problem.
Well yes there is. The people who work at the university should all be sent back to elementary school or even kindergarten. The people who are in charge should be sent out to dig ditches with someone watching them every moment because they obviously can't be trusted with anything.
She has been dealing with trying to get everything done for this semester since last April or May. She had called, gone up there, sent emails and in spite of trying to make sure everything was taken care of they still haven't gotten 'their crap' together.
With every contact she would ask is there anything else I need to do or have. Instead of giving her a list they have doled out one item at a time. A number of times they didn't even bother tell her there was something else that had been neglected. She often found this out at the last minute and had to bust her ass to get it in to them on time. Usually with only minutes to spare.
Come on, are they really that inefficient? Have they got their heads so far up their asses that they can't do their jobs? YES.
She found out today after starting class that there was still something left unattended. Something very important.
What is it with higher education? Unless it’s tied into sports in some way then they don't have time for you or they ignore you all together. The people who work there are evidently so lazy they can't get off their rear ends to do their frigging job. These students pay a fortune to attend your institution of higher education and you treat them like crap. It's a shame that these places of higher learning don't have to do business the same way other companies do business. You know the paying customer is your main concern. Oh wait I forgot, big business doesn't even work that way anymore.
Well I guess the ignorant morons that these places hire couldn't get a job anywhere else. They're not smart enough. That's a scary thought. Maybe my daughter should think about going somewhere else. If these people are any indication of what is coming out of there I guess I should really be worried. Please baby find somewhere else to go. I don't want you graduating a moron.
Update. Gina is graduating in May. She has been accepted into the Psychology Honor's Society and I'm so very proud of her. Did she come out a moron? Nope, no real thanks to the school at times. I swear these little mix-ups, late notices, and general stupidity continued but she managed to maneuver past it and here we are. She has come out of this with a clear idea of where she is going, grad school to work toward her PHD specializing in IO psychology. For those of you who have no idea what that might be, well you know all those little surveys and questionnaires that your company gives out and you curse the person who came up with the crap? Well she might be one of those people you'll be cursing in the future. I know. I tried to raise her better. Anyway, congratulations Peanut and I am so very proud of you.
OK so I started a blog. Now almost a year later I've settled in and I write on a pretty regular basis. I still don't know why but I do it. I'm not sure why anyone would find anything I have to say that's not in one of my books interesting but quite a few people do. Actually one girl even said that I damn near made her wet her bed because she laughed so hard, she put it in a much more colorful way. I'm glad I made her laugh but not to sure the wetting her bed part was what I was going for.
I must admit that I do enjoy it at times more than others. When I am just poking fun at myself it helps me to put things into perspective and clears my head. Believe me clearing my head is necessary. I also like the idea that in doing that I manage to make a person laugh. Hey if I'm poking fun at me why shouldn't someone else be able to enjoy it as well.
People as whole take things way to seriously and spent most of their time trying to be something they think will help them succeed or gain something. Me I'm just little ole me and I like it that way.
Personally I've never considered myself to be a particularly funny person although I have found people laughing at me when I least expect it. A prime example was too many years ago for me to admit to, was at the wedding of one of my brothers. I got body slammed by a little twit of a girl who was bound and determined she was going to catch the wedding bouquet. When I say little I'm talking a twelve year old. Between her hitting me at 100 x 12 years old and me having on a long gown, yes I was in the wedding, and stepping on the hem of said gown my feet flew out from under me sending me into a complete horizontal airborne position which promptly succumbed to gravity sending me plummeting to the hard floor of the church and flat of my back at the reception. The reception went totally quiet. I had one of two choices. I could either slink away in embarrassment or I could own the situation and start laughing. Do I have to tell you I didn't slink away. Instead I started laughing which caused the photographer to rush in and take pictures of me in the floor still flat of my back and everyone busting out laughing along with me. To this day my aerobatics are still talked about when you mention that wedding.
This of course is only one of many times that I managed to do something to bring attention to myself unintentionally but for the first 25 years of my life I wasn't the most graceful of human beings. I did finally outgrown it for the most part however and for that I'm grateful. So you see I've never been one who tried to be funny I just somehow always managed to be the one that got the laughs for some reason I had never planned on.
So here I am now writing a blog that makes at least a few people laugh and it's intentional, or at least sometimes it is. So as I continue forward with this noteworthy, monumental, and altruistic endeavor I can only hope you find some humor in it and it lightens your spirits. If you bought that last line of crap then please set up an appointment with the psychologist sitting at the door and get your head checked. Let's face it I'm doing this because I'm a nutcase. Why do you think there is a psychologist sitting at the door?
Did I get your attention? You thought you would hop in here and have me rant about someone wanting me to put sex in my work. Well I have been asked to on something else but not so much in the Blood Line series although there did come into play a bit of color on the second one. Not much but a little. On the third however it got a little more artistic but that's all I'll say.
No I have added plenty of color right here and it's the type I like. You know red, blue, green, yellow. You might even find some shades of grey if you look hard enough.
No I just added pictures of some of the places I write about in my books. I hope you enjoy but if you don't hang around I know I'll get to you sooner or later. Remember I'm nuts and there's no telling what I might come up with.
For example, did you know that a lot of firemen don't eat real smart? Yes and I would go into that in detail but I'm afraid I would leave certain brave and wonderful people embarrassed by what I know. Besides it may end up in one of my books one day. It would make for a very humorous interlude in between the monsters, ghosts, curses, creatures, and anything else I come up with to set the reader's hair on end.
Buddy and I try to get out and away for the day on occasion. We head out early in the morning and pick a direction and head out. Today we went with going north.
Now yes getting away from our surrounding is great and a change of scenery always does the soul good. Today we did enjoy some new and interesting sites. Beautiful place and meeting nice people. That isn't however isn't what I enjoy the most about these trips.
I enjoy spending the time with my husband. We seem to talk more when we do this and we talk about anything and everything. It can be anything from politics to personal issues and experiences that we haven't had a chance to discuss at any great length going about our day to day lives.
Don't get me wrong when he gets home from work I ask him about his day and he fills me in on what happened and he asks me what's been going on with me but usually there are other things that have to be attended to or something comes along and interrupts us so these trips allow us to just shut the rest of the world out.
We both come home tired but somehow feeling lighter. Even if you don't have the time for an extended vacation or the money for that matter try to take that one day every now and then and go discover something new, like one another.
And you thought I was going to be my usual smart ass self. Fooled you.
As anyone knows who has read my blogs on a regular basis I'm a writer. I write because I enjoy it. When I started this whole thing I didn't know if I would finish the first damn book but not only did I finish it but I have since finished four more and have four more in the oven even now. In the oven means that I have actually started them.
So what's the deal right? Well it's this. Like I said when I started I had idea that I would even finish the first book. Once I did then I couldn't make up my mind whether or not to even publish. Quite truthfully the idea scared the living crap out of me. It took me nine months to get up the courage to do it.
Oh I spent my time doing my research and trying to decide which was the best way to go. I went with Smashwords and epublishing. Now I can't say that it has been financially rewarding but everything I have heard about them is good. I have even gone out and checked for complaints against them and so far not many.
So what's the problem? They don't do hard print either in hardcover or paperback. If I want that then I have to go with another company. The top rated one looks good until you do some digging. They have complaints. Is the percentage low in comparison to what they do? I don't know without going through everything I can find and counting them off one by one. I don't have time for that but I have taken today and read quite a few. The spectrum of complaints are across the board.
They rage from customers buying books to writers unsatisfied with fees and services. There are a good number of poetry writers out there who have a major beef with this company. The fees thing seems to be a big issue as well and I can understand that. Also the question of rights to your work comes up in at least one. If one is all I find on that then with the number of books they distribute I'm not overly concerned with it.
Anyway it's a big decision and I needed to get it off my chest. I am probably going to go ahead with this but it makes me nervous. I can also maintain my relationship with Smashwords which I want to do.
Anyway enough about serious s*^t so I'll drop this for now. Have a lovely night and day tomorrow.
I started to post something earlier today but i got interrupted and now I can't remember what the hell I was going to say. Now for an old woman I guess that's not to unusual especially when it was hours ago and I got called away in the middle of something.
Now the really bad thing is that I left no clue. I mean I got interrupted after after I hit the new blog or whatever the hell it says where I click on it and then the screen comes up and I get to spout out crap for others to read.
I mean really. Whatever the hell I wanted to say couldn't have been too terribly important or I wouldn't have forgotten it right?
The issue here is that I forgot it. You know what I"m talking about. You get up to go into another room and the minute you step into that next room whatever it was that got you off your ass in the first place to do or get is completely gone out of your head. You end up in that other damn room roaming around looking at everything in the damn place hoping like hell you'll remember what you came in here for. It usually doesn't work. You do however understand what it feels like not to be able to remember. It drives you bat crap crazy and when you are already bat crap crazy that's not good. I mean the road to crazy town is only so long and when you've already made that trip and returned to only find yourself crossing those city limits again then you're in deep shit. I unfortunately have made that trip on several occasions and now when I make it again I get more and more scared I won't find my way back. Hey at my age you could die in route or worse yet the minute you hit the center of down town crazy.
Well I still can't remember what I was going to post and due to more interruptions, a lot of them since I've been writing this darn thing here, nothing around here is tripping that memory.
I think the best thing for me to do at this point is admit defeat and go to bed. Been a long couple of days and I'm tired, and old, and bat crap crazy.
Bob, "Lisa are you OK?"
Lisa, "No Bob I don't feel well."
Bob, "What's wrong?"
Lisa, "Running a fever and I think I have an infection."
Bob pulls of his shirt off and immediately strikes what he hopes is an enticing pose.
Bob, "Does this make you feel better Lisa?"
Lisa, "No Bob I can honestly say it doesn't. Sorry I can't feed your ego right now."
Bob, "Damn honey you really do feel bad."
Yes this is an actual conversation between two people, I have changed the names to protect the innocent.
So what's the flipping point to posting this? Well it's simple, any woman who has had the urge to gaze at any pics or if you're one of the lucky women to have owned one will understand. Our Bob is a young fireman. If the shirtless visage of her very attractive man couldn't take her mind off the way she felt then it was not good.
What I found funny was the fact that the guy really used this as a gauge to determine his lady's illness. No only is he a very attractive young fireman but he is also a trained EMT. Yes an EMT and still his way of gauging poor Lisa's degree of being ill was to remove his shirt. I can only imagine that is has got to be one hell of a lot better to gaze in person on one than just looking at these wonderful examples of the human male forms displayed in a calendar. It has to be if an EMT uses this as a gauge for illness in a woman. I wonder if they do that when they answer a call for all female patients, rip off their shirts that is, to determine if a female patient is truly ill. After hearing about that conversation I can only say one thing. Damn, I need to call an ambulance.
You didn't think I was going to leave you ladies without the whole picture did you?
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?