We've all had to deal with one. That one friend who tries to do everything he or she can do to irritate and annoy you just for the fun of it. They love to rock your boat at every turn. Their main goal is to try and tip that boat over just to see you get soaked to the bone and stand there laughing.
No matter what, if you say black they say white. If you want to go left they will insist on turning right. They can't help it. No matter how right you are they will argue a point to the extent of sending you into a fit of hysterics that defies reason and you are driven to damn near murder and in some cases you make it there and are left with a bloody nasty mess that was your friend and now you have to clean it up and cover up the crime.
If they have been a friend long enough you have sat around thinking of all the nasty ways you could end the constant irrational behavior of such a person. You have thought of choking the last breath of life from them or maybe how many ways you could skin them alive inch by inch over time to drag out their misery with you laughing like a maniac as you go about your grisly task. You want to end their existence so you can know peace and tranquility. You want to breath that sign of relief as you return to a calm and blissful state of mind. Yes I bet each of you have gone through what I'm talking about.
Now I know you are asking yourself why don't you kick this person to the curb and be done with the whole thing, like you haven't have one yourself and know why you don't, instead of continuing to subject yourself to this sadomasochistic relationship.
Well I'm going to say what we never want to admit. They keep us on our toes. These are the friends who keeps our minds sharp and quick on the intake. You also know that this is a friend that if you are in trouble they will be the first to show up at your door offering a hand should you need them. Without question they will be there with a helping hand and kind heart without expecting anything in return. They may be a pain in your ass most of the time but when needed they know what a friend is and they do their job.
So here's to the couple of friends I have like that and even though on most days I may want to kill you just know that I do appreciate you and when not pissed off as hell at you I am glad you're there. If you read this you'll know who you are but if you say anything about it I'll deny it to my dying breath and you'll probably be the one who puts me in an early grave from a popped vein to my brain.
Been a bit under the weather so haven't had much to say. I know most are going yeah, the bitch is silent for a change. Well hopefully I'm on my way to recovery and will be here doing everything I can to annoy, amuse, or just bore you to tears.
I think I do a pretty good job of this but without anyone commenting on my post it's hard to tell. I know how many do read my blog and I want to thank each and everyone of you for taking the time to read what I write.
Still working on a couple of things here.
Emma's song is coming along nicely and hopefully will be ready fairly soon. The necklace is waiting for the treasure hunt but I still have to sell a lot of books before it is up for grabs.
Because I have been ill there hasn't a lot going on.
Oh my wonderful hubby was a total douche yesterday and I had no problem telling him so. Hell I had no problem telling everyone that. Obviously.
Can you imagine going to first a minor med clinic and then on to the ER, which is where I told Buddy I needed to go in the first place but no we had to go to the minor med first. True the doctor at the minor med is a friend and he trusted her more than an ER doctor and I can't fault him for that but still I knew there was going to be even more waiting going to the first then the second.
Now for the fun part. Every time I got asked what was wrong at these two establishments my response was my husband is being a douche. Now at the clinic that wasn't so bad as like I said before the Doctor there knows us both and is a dear friend. She found it funny but the people at the ER were not as amused. Wonder why.
By now if you are a woman and have been to the ER in recent years you know they now ask you if someone has or is hurting you. I got this question asked right after I told the triage nurse at the hospital Buddy was a douche. Of course not. Buddy's a teddy beat, true sometimes a teddy bear with a bad temper but rarely have I ever seen that directed at me. Yesterday he was just a douche and that's a long way from being mean or someone who would any way try to hurt me. For the record Buddy is only a douche with me when I'm sick and won't do what I should do or I'm being particularly irritating. I do tend to be a bit of a pain at times and lately I've been on a roll in that department. God that man really is nearly a saint. I refuse to give him the title of total sainthood because there would be no living with him. That would only go to his head and make him a real pain in the ass. I prefer he stay just as he is thank you very much.
Anyway I did both the minor med and the ER and had a lousy evening. Thanks Buddy. Anyway no one can seem to figure our what is wrong but I have some kind of infection that is making my white count high and my temp to spike daily.
I'm waiting for cultures to come back to tell me if I'm still alive or if I'm dead and just haven't laid down for the event. Whoopee. I think they will find that I'm an alien from outer space and just need to use a phone. "Hey you guys I think it's time to pick me up down here." I want to go back to where I am queen and people know how to respect me.
Time to take this sick butt back to bed and try to get over this mess.
Hey everyone leave a comment here on Weebly and if I get enough complaints I might stop.
Yesterday Buddy and I went to a restaurant that hadn't been to before. Now I say I haven't because for some reason my husband seems to have made it to most in our fair town. This is one however he hadn't managed to try because he couldn't tell me if the food was good or not and he seemed to have as much trouble deciding on what to have as I did.
Now I say for some reason my husband has as if I don't have a clue why that would be the case but I actually know why. Because of the kind of work he has done over the past thirty plus years he often is in a position where he has to entertain or be entertained by people from out of town. Fortunately he is smart enough that he knows that had better be all that's going on. I even smell a hint of hanky panky, well let's just say I would end up on ID TV. Besides I have that man so spoiled that any woman who wanted to go there would soon discover he's more trouble than he's worth, at least to anyone but me. Anyway that's not what this is about so moving on.
We go into this restaurant and it's a nice place but different. While waiting for our order to arrive I noticed the drink menu on the table and I pick it up. It had an interesting little list of alcoholic drinks. At the top of that list was an interesting concoction call Red Headed Bitch. I turned to my adorable, sweet, amazing hubby and asked what a Red Headed Bitch was. He's initial response to that question was to look at me with a sheepish and amused look on his face with a cocked eyebrow. Now I had no problem understanding what that look meant. My response to him was "Not your wife asshole but the drink."
Yes I been a little out of sorts over the past couple of weeks. I haven't been the most pleasant of individuals. OK I've been pretty much a raving bitch, but really. He really thought he was being cute. The fact that I was able to exercise the amount of restraint only goes to prove what a sweet and understanding spouse I am. After all he did manage leave the restaurant on his own two feet. He was even alive this morning and was able to go to work. There is however this weekend and I will get him back.
Oh the reason I've been out of sorts was I was diagnosed with Diabetes last week so I think it's understandable why I've been in a foul mood. I'm not saying it's a good excused or it justifies my behavior but it is the reason for my bad conduct.
l will find a way to get even this weekend. It will take some thinking on my part but if any you have any ideas on how to accomplish this please share.
For those of you who know about the necklace I made for Emma I had a couple of interesting things happen while on my last trip to Missouri. I have been wearing it when I go up there so that when I do the treasure hunt I can honestly say that it has been in a lot of the places you've read about in my books.
During this last trip I had a coupe of people who wanted to buy it off my neck. There were several more who took a big interest in it. One person made an amazing offer. No I still have the necklace and am not about to sell. Was I tempted? No but it still threw me. I can't say that the word Damn didn't go through my head.
Anyway the necklace is back oh it's stand where it will now stay until someone wins it. It will do no more traveling. I have enjoyed wearing it but think it best for it to stay home and safe from now on. I have posted pics for those who might be interested.
You've seen them, the top ten, twenty, or so things you didn't know, or haven't seen, or best all round list that pop up on facebook. Well there is one called '20 Jokes Only For Tennesseans With A Sense Of Humor'. I found it to be a sad commentary for people everywhere.
The jokes listed were by far the most pitiful attempt at making a joke at the expense of someone else I've ever seen. Whoever came up with these, and God I hope it wasn't people from Tennessee, were the most simple minded morons I've ever seen. Most made no sense and let's face it even a joke has to make sense to be funny. To claim that only people with a sense of humor would find them funny translated into only a Tennessean with with the intelligence of a moron would find them funny. I'm sure we have a few of those but for the most part I think the people of this great state would look at them the same way I do. Sad. You will find these same type of jokes for almost any state in the south. We have been the butt end of bad jokes for way too long. It's not just jokes. There is a certain individual on TV that I heard make one of the most outrageous statements regarding the south I've heard. Years ago while at work I was talking to a person in Canada, this otherwise pleasant individual after finding out where I was asked if we were still shooting Indians here. Come on, are you serious? Yes he was. I told him no because it was outlawed about five years before. I did tell him that it was still legal to shoot stupid people. I ended up spending over an hour on the phone with this man telling him about my state and the south in general. I hope he followed through on he promise to visit us and got a chance to get to know the people here.
For those of you who have never visited us please do. In almost any place you go here you will be met with true southern hospitality. You will find most are friendly and welcoming and will go out of their way to make you feel at home. Anyone who was raised in the south were taught you treated a guest with respect and courtesy. Are there places that you don't want to go? Sure. Like any other state there are places that you just don't want to go. Please come and visit us here in the south and find out about the real South.
You want a bad joke about the South well here's one and no it isn't true but at least it has a coherent thought.
How man Tennesseans does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, the problem is finding that one. Mention work and Tennesseans run for the nearest door.
If you're going to tell bad jokes about us at least make them funny.
Here I am going on with my life and for the most part happy with how it's all going. Now life is full of surprises and glitches but damn, sometimes it really hits you out of the blue with a foul ball.
A week ago Sunday I had to go to the minor med because of something stupid on my part, remember I'm good at that sort of thing, and after doing blood work was told I might have a problem with my sugar. OK when you say a problem just how big a problem are we talking about? Maybe a big one. Was the short answer.
So Monday morning bright and early I made an appointment and was able to get it for Thursday morning. I get up that morning and I'm sitting in the office right on time.
After a fairly long drawn out visit doing the doctor/patient thing, not because I was having to wait for anyone very long they were taking that much time with me, my doctor comes in and informs me formally that I am diabetic and everything regarding that fact is way high.
I have now given up some very long held habits and not to pleased with that fact. I love Coca-Cola. I even took that Pepsi, yuk, challenge more years ago than I care to think about and Pepsi lost. Now that was funny. After I picked Coke I turned to leave and the young lady who was working that little gig tried to give me the container with the Pepsi and told me I could take it with me. You're kidding right? I asked if I could have the one with Coca-Cola and her top it off. She wasn't happy about that.
Anyway back to my story. Yes I'm Diabetic. Yes it means some major changes in my life but I will not let this get the best of me. Here that Diabetes? I have every intention of kicking your no more sugar ass and take you out with a KO.
So if any of you have any suggestions on what weapons to take into this battle please let me know.
One thing for damn sure I'm still smiling and I have every intention of continuing to do just that. I have more books to write and by damn I am going to write them.
One other little interesting thing to take place on this trip, other then me getting sick, was whether or not we got caught up in the edge of a tornado. Several years ago Buddy and I were coming back from a trip from Gatlinburg, TN we were traveling down a back road in eastern Tennessee. You know the type. It's cut into the land in such a way that you have about a four or five foot embankment on either side with trees lining it on either side and occasionally opening up to fields of farm land. It was just past nightfall and and there is a storm raging all around you. The stuff of horror stories and nightmares.
There is a flash of lightening and I look up to the windshield on Buddy's side of the vehicle and there in the center of the field not far from us was a tornado. OK I really didn't see that now did I. It was as if the powers that be wanted to affirm what I had just seen so with an even brighter and longer flash of lightening there in all it's glory was that majestic clone making it's way across a field. My response was oh shit. Buddy asked what was wrong and all I would say was "Nothing, just keep driving." It wasn't until later that I told him what I had seen.
What are the odds that we would ever be caught in that situation again? Slim to none right. I'm not so sure after Sunday. Now any of you who have traveled though Northeastern Arkansas know that about all you see are miles and miles of fields broken only by an occasional house or some other building. Well we were coming back to Memphis through that part of Arkansas and yes it had that stormy look all around us but no major rain or lightening or anything like that. We noticed a rather unusual cloud formation that ran from the sky all the way to the ground. It was like a large column or wall of dark clouds that was unlike anything we had ever seen except on the weather channel.
Buddy asked what it was and I told him what it looked like to me. Shortly after that, and I'm talking a few seconds it got much darker than it had been. Now Buddy isn't the type to panic or even get shaken over many things but this shook him. A couple of seconds later it got pitch dark and we were hit by a straight line torrential rain and heavy winds. You could barely see the hood of the truck little on the road. It was at this point that one of our girls called to tell us there was a cell right where we were. Buddy had been the one to take the call and all he said to Ginny was "I got to go Ginny, in the middle of something and hung up the phone. He started to pull over but decided that us continue to move was the better idea. We wanted put that mess as far behind us as we could and that's exactly what we did. We never heard anything about a tornado after we got home but it certainly was something. I took a couple of pics before it got to dark to take another. If anyone has any idea about this let me know. I am posting the pics I was able to take before the lights went out in Arkansas.
The pics really doesn't show what it looked like in person.
Well I had my little signing this weekend with the emphases on little. There was only a couple of people there but I really hadn't expected there would be a big turn out or it Perkins is a very small town. I did enjoy myself and Pam, the owner, is a wonderful cook. If you ever get up that way be sure to stop in one morning and have her gravy and biscuits. I can no longer indulge in such wonderful, what to me has become a delicacy, but I shall remember them fondly.
I wore Emma's necklace again this weekend to allow it to be in as many places as possible around Randles and Perkins but now it goes into a box and locked away until somewhere down the road someone else may lay claim to it. First I don't want anything to happen to it but I had two people try to buy it off my neck, and for no small amounts I might say, so I think it has traveled enough and now must wait to be worn by it's rightful owner.
I have recovered from the scare involving Buddy and his tractor/lawnmower and I thin I only lost five years instead of ten.
Well I'm on my way to take a nap. I will try to come up with something a little more entertaining.
Have a good day while this old lady acts like an old lady.
This is Buddy with his toy/tractor attempting to conquer a neighbor's out of control yard something he has started doing for a lot of our older neighbors. No he isn't getting paid for it and I would love to say he is doing it our of the goodness of his heart but the fact is he just loves that damn 'tractor.' This one was a bit of an overgrown beast but he did succeed in getting it under control.
Well in a few hours I will be leaving for the lovely little towns of Randles and Perkins Missouri. I am so looking forward to this trip. Last time we were there they were just beginning to bloom. Usually by the first of May they have started showing there colors in a big way and by Mother's day they are in full bloom. The really nasty winter that they had there kept that from happening this year. They started late so this weekend they should be putting on a show. I can't wait to get lost in that magnificent sea of color not to mention the fragrance that will fill the air at night there.Of course that isn't the main reason I'm going but it is a damn good close second. In the little town of Perkins is a small store and in that store is a small but very good little restaurant. Buddy and I would usually go there for breakfast when we were there. The food is good and the atmosphere is usually quiet or on the mornings when the local farmers have the time they will gather there and enjoy a meal or even just a cup of coffee. They will sit around and talk about their farms, the weather, their families, or in a lot of cases politics. It brings to mind what it must have been like a hundred years ago when the farmers would stop off at the local store and catch up on the local gossip.
On the morning we were there we would go there and I quite often would carry my laptop and while waiting for our breakfast to appear I would work on the first book. The people who own the store know this and they were more than happy to assist an aspiring author. When I was there a couple of weeks ago they asked if I could come back this weekend and do a book signing. My book is not in hard copy yet but I told them I would be more than happy and to bring copies of the covers and sign them.
They were tickled over this concept so this weekend I'm going back to the place where this all stated. The fact that the people there asked for me to do this is what really makes me happy. They could have resented the book and thrown a monkey wrench in in the whole thing. Now it is a small town and I don't expect there to be a large turnout for this event and I'm OK with that. I was invited to do this and I'm am more than happy to comply.
I think they are hoping that my books will do for them what another book did for a certain little town in Alaska. That's putting a lot of faith into my book but if it makes them feel good then I'm happy.
It is beautiful there. Now it wouldn't be a lot of people's cup of tea but I like it.
Anyway off I go to do what writers do to sell books and connect with people. I'm looking forward to the whole experience.
So wish me luck and I will be posting pics of the trip. May you all have a pleasant weekend and I hope you don't run into the guy with the sinus problem I encountered earlier. If you do check to see if his tail gate is wired shut to keep him from making an ass of himself, that really was funny. Bye for mow and will check in soon.
She was definitely a few pieces shy of a complete Erector Set.
"Nice equipment." said Alison.
"Don't I know it."
Would someone please make him stop excreting humanly body fluids?