I first posted this little tidbit last February because I wanted to share something more than the cold dreary images of both my rantings and the weather outside at the time. With two hurricanes tearing through our southern states in the past few weeks and one or two waiting in the wings it looks like I thought it might be a good time to revisit this. It isn't much in the way of help I know but hopefully a reminder of better things ahead.
I decided to do something different tonight. For all the people who follow me on my web page I thought I would say thank you. You have put up with my ranting, my poking fun at my husband and myself, and ran on and on about my books I thought you deserved the chance to see something beautiful.
Below are merely a small sample o what I am greeted with every spring my husband's family farm. Like I said this is a supper small sample and doesn't begin to cover the color range these beautiful blooms. For the most part they are irises but in the summer you would be greeted by day lilies. Oh there are a a few rose buses scattered out over the farm as well as a good deal of peonies of many different colors not to mention daffodils in many different colors. Oh you didn't know they came in many different colors? Well they do, maybe not as many as the other flowers I've mentioned but they do come in many colors. So please sit back and enjoy the little gift I present you.
I really do love love my husband. He is, for the most part, a wonderful man who I wouldn't trade for anything. Over the many years we have been together he has spoiled me rotten. Buddy is a loving, usually thoughtful, compassionate, caring, intelligent, interesting, handsome, even tempered companion. Did you pick up on that people. No? Reread it. Did you catch it this time? Still haven't seen it? Read it one more time. OK, OK I'll tell you.
It's the usually thoughtful part, the key word being usually. So what has the d*^khead done? I'm going to tell you.
I had managed to catch just about every winter time scourge you can imagine all at one time. Another words I was sick as a dog and contagious. Now we have a routine that pretty much every Saturday we meet one or more of our daughters for lunch. One of the said daughters was in her third trimester of her second pregnancy. On this day we would have been meeting two of our daughter the third had to work, the two that would have been there both had small children under two. So me going to lunch with them that day was definitely out of the question. When the final plans were made Buddy was away from the house that morning and he called me to let me know what was happening. OK he could go, I couldn't, and everyone knew this, so all was good. All was good that is until I asked him to bring me something back. That's when things went to hell in a hand-basket at a thousand miles an hour.
Instead of him going OK sweetheart, or whatever little endearment that he might've call me, what do you want me to bring back for you, he screwed up big time. After waiting a few seconds he let's out this exasperated sigh and in a slightly gruff voice asked what do you want. Now I suspect he may have been coming down with the same crap I had and probably didn't feel too well himself but I did have the crud and I damn sure didn't feel real well. Hell I was one step away from going totally crazy.
I told him never mind, don't worry about it.
He started with what do you...but again I told him to forget it and hung up on him.
I was mad.
Shortly after that he walked in the door with that usual cute little boy look and the first thing he ask is what do you want me to bring back for you. I told him not a damn thing. What transpired after that you would have to know Buddy and me to get a good picture but I'll try and convey it as best as I can.
Buddy has a way of getting back on my good side pretty quick when I get mad at him. He can drop that head of his and look at me with those beautiful blue eyes through mile long eyelashes and in the cutest little boy voice you ever heard go, Whaaat. yes he drags out the what. Now if that doesn't quite work he will then get close to me and nudge me in this really adorable way and continued with the whaaat. Usually by this time my resolve is close to breaking and he knows a couple more cute little things and I'll capitulate and he has me smiling. Not this time. I don't know if it was because I felt so bad or what but it wasn't working. Instead as he stood over me, I was sitting on the couch, as he continued to try and win me over I did something I have never done with him before. I looked at the poor man with the kind of dead cold look I have never directed at him before and simply saying. "I'm not in the mood." If you could have seen the look on his face you would understand why I felt so bad later. Oh he tried to tell me that he was kidding, he wasn't which made me even madder because he was lying to me and he should have known I would see right through him.
Poor man remained quiet as a mouse while he finished getting ready to meet the girls. Yes I know he was being a jerk and I had every right to be pissed at him but come on people did you read the rest of the description? He really is all those things and I've just busted the poor man's bubble. It is rare that I get mad at him and even rarer that I stay mad longer than a few minutes. I have never in all the years I've known the man have I shot him down like that. He made me feel like the Red Baron and he was Snoopy and I just shot him down dead. Anyway before he walked out the door he pulled me to him and gave me a big hug and told me he was sorry he shouldn't have acted like he did.
So what's the point to this whole drawn out story? My husband acted like a total jerk but I'm the one who feels like an ass. Go figure. Damn that man is good.
Yes I got my lunch and it was wonderful. God love him.
All five books are in print. You can get them online at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Apple, Kobo, Snashwords, Createspace amd other outlets. I hope you will give them a read.
The new book trailer is now on Youtube. I hope you will take a look at it.
Writing is a journey. Something you see or experience sets your mind to turning and off you go. It isn't just a matter of having an idea but a building an entire world inside your head. A cast of characters are born and for you they come alive. They talk to you and they are the ones who tell the story, their story. You paint pictures in your head of the places they live and where they go. To help paint these pictures sometimes you get up and head out on the road to make contact with that world. I have many times. The picture below says that more than anything. On a very cold day in early January of 2014 I took a picture that demonstrates that more than any words ever could. Not a pretty picture by most people's standards but to me it says more than anything I could write. To me the picture is beautiful. Do you see me?
Emma looked up to see Steve coming through the field in her direction. She could tell by the way he was walking he wasn’t a happy camper. She really didn’t know what to think when she noticed Alison right on his heels. Crap something bad had happened.
Emma put the brush down she had been working with and told the students to pack it up for the day. Being a professor of archaeology she was used to digging in the ground but these days she was digging on her own property. When she first came here to Missouri to settle her grandmothers estate she had no idea she would end up staying. She also hadn’t expected when they were looking for her grandmother’s, three times removed, grave that she would hit on a small Indian campsite and now she was up to her elbows with a bunch of students digging into prime farmland that she owned.
Emma looked out over the field that lay between her and the house. Up until last year this fifteen acre field had been farm land. Now it lay open and unused. At times she felt a little selfish about it not being farmed. She hoped that in the not too distant future she would be able to reforest the fields around the house. So much of the wind breaks and small forested areas were being cleared for the large farming company’s. The wildlife was fast losing their natural habitats and she found that unacceptable.
Returning her attention to the two approaching figures Emma took her gloves off and went to meet Steve and Alison. She wanted to get them back to the house before they dropped a bomb on her.
Passing Steve she said. “To the house?”
Steve gave a positive response and they all headed in that direction.
Emma went straight to the kitchen sink to wash her hands and after she was finished she turned to the two who had followed her in. “OK you two, what gives?”
“Connors is out of the hospital.” Steve only managed to get this out through clenched teeth.
“Yeah, he got out this morning.” Alison was really pissed and not bothering to hide it.
“I know a lot of people who would’ve liked for them to have kept him locked up for the rest of his life but it was a mental ward. It was a pretty safe bet he was going to get out sooner or later.” Emma didn’t like the idea of that man out and running around anymore than the other two but there wasn’t much they could do about it.
“I was hoping they would transfer him over to the jail and keep him up there until his court date but that didn’t happen.” Alison still didn’t understand why that hadn’t been the case.
“Alison we don’t always get what we want. We do know that he isn’t likely to come around here causing trouble.”
“Emma until this guy goes to court and ends up behind bars, be careful. We have no idea what this madman is capable of so until something is done we all need to watch our backs.”
“You really think he is that dangerous?” Emma thought they might be overreacting just a bit.
“Alison is right Emma, we need to be careful. Word is he doesn’t remember what happened the night he trespassed on the property and started slicing tires. He stopped talking about ghost and started claiming that we had to have drugged him and set him up.” When the DA had told Steve that story he had damn near lost it. The district attorney had tried to reassure Steve that no one was buying into his accounting of that night. Still, that hadn’t done anything for Steve’s disposition.
It was Emma’s turn to be mad. “What? You’ve got to be frigging kidding me.”
“No. He’s claiming that we must’ve drugged him that night at the party. I hate to tell you this but he is saying that he was actually a guest here that night. The way he is telling it is you must have invited him here so you could set him up.”
“No fucking way. Surely no one is buying that ridiculous story?” Emma was pacing the kitchen floor and Alison just let out an angry cry of rage that would rival Grayson’s.
Speaking of the ghosts there was a breeze that blew through the house at that moment and a glass flew off the counter. Emma could understand their rage but this breaking stuff was getting a little old.
Alison who always seemed to be the quickest to respond to them decided to nip this in the bud quick. “Come on you guys, your temper tantrums are getting expensive. Please find a less costly way of showing your anger.”
It seemed to work because they heard a collective sigh and the breeze settled down.
“Thank you.” Alison also seemed to show the most patience with them as well which might have had a lot to do with the way they responded to her.
“You do realize Alison you may never be able to move out of this house. I don’t think they would let you.” Emma placed her arm around her friend and they leaned against each other taking comfort in the closeness.
“I know I carry a gun but I have to be honest with you, as long as that crazy bastard is out there I have no intention of going anywhere. This is the one place I know we’re all safe from that jug head.” Alison neither jumped nor cried out when an invisible hand gently stroked her check.
The book trail is now available to view.
Marcus looked up quickly when he thought he heard something out in the water. He scanned the surface of the lake but could see nothing. As he started to turn to go back to the car he thought he heard someone call his name. He looked around the area where he had parked but saw nothing or no one. He was alone by the lake. When he had pulled in here there had been another car parked a little ways down but now it was gone. He was surprised that he hadn’t seen or heard it leave. For some reason he was suddenly aware of the silence around him and he became uncomfortable.
Again he thought he heard his name being called but there was no one there. His name came again and this time the sound was louder yet it had a softer tone to it. When he heard it the fourth time he was drawn to it. Slowly he began to move in the direction he thought the sound was coming from. The soft sweet voice continued to call to him drawing him ever closer. He now could see the little dancing light ahead of him. He thought they looked like brilliant little stars dancing in the wind.
Marcus was unaware when his foot stepped into the beginning edge of the lake. His mind didn’t register when the water level reached his knees. He continued to march steadily forward edging toward what he suddenly thought was paradise. If he could make it to that wonderful voice all his troubles would be over.
By the time the water was up to his chin Marcus was so withdrawn from his surroundings that anyone seeing him would have sworn that the man was out of his mind. Of course they would never have known what to think when he suddenly stiffened and then screamed as something under the water reached around his legs and pulled him under the surface. For a couple of minutes you could have followed the bubbles along the surface as the air left his lungs and filled with liquid. Of course, it wasn’t drowning that finished Marcus but the long deep gash that was torn down his middle. His intestines floated out from his body and rippled out behind him like the streamers at the end of a child’s kite as he was drug deeper into the depths of the lake.
No one hates drama more than I do. My way of dealing with it is to cut it off at the knees and move on. Is that the best way of doing things? I don't know but up till now I have found it to be the most successful way of handling it. I'm an adult, not only that I'm an older adult. This does mean I'm pretty much set in my ways.
This doesn't mean I can't see things in other ways. I just know that turning a blind eye to it will not make it go away. In truth it only grows and gets worse as time progresses. You see drama takes on a life of it's own when it comes to people's feelings.
I don't like it when people get their feelings hurt. I especially don't have any patience with bullies. I especially have issues with know it all people who think they are more illuminated than others. Are you serious. You want to what? You come bouncing in here thinking you're God's gift and you're going to put us on the straight and narrow the way you see it. Bite me.
Yes I'm rating again. You see this is something I try not to do in the real world and sometimes it builds up in me and it comes spewing out like a gushing well of high pressure hot air that has been trapped in a vacuum sealed pit in the hottest bowls of hell. Fortunately when recently faced with dealing with such a situation I managed to hold my cool for the most part but went volcano later. No I didn't actually go off on anyone but I did get short with someone I love dearly and for that I'm sorry.
It's hard for most people to understand me and very few do. You see I'm an extremely motherly person. I not only consider my family and friends as all a part of my family but as my children as well. When one of them hurts I hurt. You hurt my children and I go into fight mode. I watched several of my children get hurt recently and it finally built up too much steam and it had to go somewhere.
I know there are calmer voices and they have all the best intentions in the world. Sometimes however you have to let out that steam. You have to be willing to take a stand and move past it. If that means you take the direct approach then you take it because only in facing the things that challenge you do you succeed. Yes there's a good chance you'll end up getting your butt kicked but that's the chance you take when you face a world that too often is filled with bullies and other obstacles.
I wouldn't change the calmer voice for nothing in the world because mine keeps me from going off the tracks too often and too far. I love her and I hope she knows that. You know who you are hon and I wouldn't have you any other way. I will remain the volcano and you remain the calmer voice and maybe we will get through the obstacles of this world together.