I woke with another headache this morning. I hate that. It means it will be another one of those days. A day where I slip from this world into that other darker world. Oh you’ve heard the remark, ‘all the colors are pretty in my world,’ well I’m here to tell you they’re not.
Yes the beautiful brilliant colors are alluring but they hide a darkness underneath. It slowly rises up to gradually envelope you and you will not be aware until it’s too late. It drags you down into a world of madness and horror. I know.
The first time I was pulled into that world I loved it. Everything looked so perfect, clean, and miraculous. You traverse a landscape unlike any you’ve ever seen before. Your bare feet feel as if they are planting themselves in a cushion of warm sand, cotton, satin luxury all at one time. The air caresses your skin like the loving embrace of a long lost love that fills you with joy. A soft melodious hum of angelic like voices lull you into a state of relaxation and peace. There is no fighting the urge to stretch your willing supple body out on the heavenly surface that was massaging feet. You close your eyes and surrender yourself to this world of wonderful colors and in that moment it begins to take you.
Slowly is invades your mind somewhere in the deepest reaches. So lightly does it stroke these deep hidden crevasses of your mind you are unaware that it has even penetrated into your most sacred of places. Each time you return for the ecstasy that this world offers you lose more and more of yourself, each time your soul dies a little more. Oh it won’t kill you outright but it kills who you were.
By the time you are aware of what is happening it is too late. Every time you return to the world you belong in you are changed. You start hunting. You become the monster that makes adults lock their doors at night and children afraid to look under their bed and in their closets. You’re the one that makes the lone person jump when they hear a strange noise behind them. It is your glowing eyes people see in the dark of night shining out at them from the even darker shadows.
I fight the urge to step across the threshold of the other place but the part of me that is already there pulls me toward it. I slip through the passageway and feel all those wonderful things I felt the first time until it takes over and then I’ll return. I’ll step out into the night of my original home, my eyes glowing with hunger, and I’ll hunt. Suddenly with a rapturous joy I know, I will kill tonight.