Hey, I’ve had the same problem. As a matter of fact I’ve experienced all the about to some degree or another. It sucks. I was lucky enough to get past them and have a wonderful husband, three beautiful daughters, and four, if not always perfect, fabulously entertaining and lovely grandchildren that I love dearly. Oh the three daughters aren’t perfect either but their pretty damn close and yes I love all of them too. I admit it can be to varying degrees depending on whether or not I’m pissed off at one or all three but I always love them.
Still there were those old ghost that would rare up from out of the past and haunt not only my nightmares but my waking hours as well. Then I found something that helped me let them go. I started writing. I found a way to pull all that pain out of my soul and release it to the dark underworld where it truly belongs. There are things I can never tell outright but I can put it into a story and finally get the satisfaction of some sort of vindication and justice in the worlds I create where there might not be any in the world I actually live in. Don’t try to figure them out because they might not be as obvious as you might think.
The point is, find a way to exorcise those haunting spirits from your past. Whether it is writing, drawing, painting, sculpting, or just building something with your hands, just do it. Don’t think building something could do it? Every time you pound the head of a nail with a hammer think of it as the person who hurt you. Every time you twist a piece of wire imagine your hands around that person’s throat. Look I’m talking about doing this in artwork not on a real person because that is a great big no-no. That could land you in jail for a while at the very least up to lying on a gurney with a needle in your arm at the very worst. Not to mention that would just be wrong no matter what that other person did. Once you write, paint, draw, sculpt, or build those ghost into whatever you create then you can put them in a coffin of your own minds making and bury it deep in the earth of whatever world you want and then jump up and down on it until your heart’s content to pack it down as far as you can.
Life is too short to let the ghost of the past haunt your future.