Now I have to admit that I do think that Colin Ferguson is a real cutie but I do not go into my laundry room thinking that he is sitting there in place of my washer and dryer. If I did I would hope that my family would catch on and have me admitted to a psych hospital as soon as possible.
I swear if I see one more appliance commercial where they have women swooning at the sight of an electrically run oversized metal box I may take a page out of the book of one of my brothers and shoot my television. Don’t get excited there folks, he was about six years old and it was with a beebe gun. Don’t go getting your britches in a bunch over that one either. That was a hundred years ago and the gun was supposed to have been empty, a stray bebee must have managed to hide away inside the darn thing or at least that was the story my dad told. Anyway my brother shot the screen out of a brand new television which didn’t make either of my parents happy.
Back to the appliance thing. If you think that the company who puts out the commercials with that lovely hunk of man is the only one doing it you’d be wrong. There is more than one company taking this route but the others aren’t even bothering to add the eye candy. Is there a sexual component to appliances that I’ve never picked up on? “You in the corner over there, shut up.”
The thing is, it’s not just appliance commercials but just about anything that is directed toward women. A piece of chocolate can melt all your troubles away, they leave out the part about it putting ten pounds on your ass for your effort, to some miracle product that will take fifty years off your face overnight. Also the commercials about prepackaged food that will make your life so much easier and allow you to feed your family a totally healthy, well balance meal in no time is total bullshit. Hey and my all-time favorite is the eyelash commercials. They hand you all this crap about how long and thick their product is going to make your lashes the whole time zooming in on the model who is obviously wearing false eyelashes. If that is not the biggest insult to my intelligence I don’t know what is.
Personally I think we should start a movement but I doubt that anyone would pay attention after all we’re too busy getting our jollies from our appliances, eating chocolate as a mood altering drug, and looking for those perfect false lashes in that tube of mascara to follow through but if anyone is interested let me know. I bet we could make a difference. “Hey you in the corner I told you once to shut up so don’t make me tell you again.”